Saturday rush

7:40 a.m.

That’s not just any time. It’s the time i have woken up.. uughhh!!

Shower.. shower..  cold shower. 

Handbag

Bread, check

Plums.. check

Coffee.. check

Fare… check

Good to go.

Valentine’s is coming up fast.. as if that’s not enough, my ugly brother got a beautiful baby girl.. but honestly am happy for my bro.. even happier for the bright baby who picked auntie Winnie’s good looks… lucky escape sweetheart.. lucky escape..

Anyway, am late.. really late.. but wait.. not late enough to miss out breakfast or a big mango.. 

Blessed Saturday!!

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Life as women are suffering it

I sit in a mat today.. am ready to start a war.. any time…

Yet, I have to remind myself that I don’t have muscles. I take in a shaky breath.. I blink back tears.. Helplessness. That’s what it is.. that cursed feeling that women are suffering nowadays.

Am yet to get a baby so I can’t explain the pain.. but at a small percentage, I try to understand. It’s tiring.. it’s draining.. yet, women who have given birth at Kenyatta National hospital have to keep watching their backs.. They have to walk in groups to breastfeed their babies.

Problem? They can get raped in the facility.. the biggest referral hospital in East and Central Africa; the home of shame.

Morgue attendants are going after those women and raping them.. I can’t just.. honestly I have no idea what to say here. The women are shown dead bodies and they have them scared.. then abusing them..

No woman should get raped.. but this is even worse; vulnerable women, scared women.. oh my God.. 

Who are these people? Are they even human? 

The most saddening fact is that the management is well aware of whatever is happening.. They just couldn’t be bothered. Hate me, or think me as biased, but I think the management is men. No woman would sit back and watch this happen. If there’s such a woman, we of the female race of the all living things disown you. You are a disgarace.. a shame to all women.

Some time ago, I read an article by media personalityAnita Nderu on sexual abuse, I just didn’t know it would get to this level. I had no idea this would go this far.

Lot’s of Kenyan men are idiots and mentally dysfunctional. They have no idea on where boundaries on sexual abuse lie. There’s a time some guy grabbed my breast through a matatu window.. I was mad.. I showered for minutes.. I just can’t imagine what those women are suffering right now..

It’s traumatizing to think of it. I would call out to Kenyan men to defend their women from the men who are doing this but I can’t.. how many men have had sex with a girl even when she said no? Just holding her down just because they can? How many have made unwelcomed comments about a girl’s body even when she didn’t like it? How many men are having their wives without even caring just because they can? 

Well, I won’t.. I have met a real man once.. so am sure they exist.. but they are outnumbered. The morons rule the men’s world. 

I would call out to the government.. but what for? Wrotten garbage..

I would cry out to women.. but we are outmuscled..  we are pushed out in the streets easily.. it’s a battle I don’t know how to win..

I will just cry myself to sleep… not before praying that maybe.. just maybe God will be gracious  enough to keep those women out if harms way.. 

They can crush anything, but not the hope that maybe life will be better.. one day.

#KNH

Normal women’s handbag vs my handbag

Am trying to be normal people.. am trying.. in my pursuit to normalcy, I checked out a friend’s handbag.. 

1. Lipstick

2. Hairbrush.. (jeez.. her hair is braided. What’s a brush for?)

3. Lip balm.. (really??)

4. Sunscreen.. eerrr.. what’s that for? 

5. Hand lotion.. (are we moving out or something?)

6. Petroleum jelly.. someone kill me already.

7. Panty liners and pads.. pads really?? Pads should show up in the handbag during that time.. Liners.. oh well.. lucky suckers.. they get to get into my bag too.

8. Charger.. totally normal

9. Tissue and wipes… (rolls my eyes)
My handbag.

1. Liners.. oh well.. at least am normal

2. Hand sanitizer.. I might need to start eating somewhere I can’t access water.. and honestly I can’t afford upset stomach.. I would be dysfunctional..

3. Bread.. eerrr.. wait.. somewhere during the day I will be offered tea. It’s only wise to have my own bread.

4. Plums.. remember me? The villager? There’s no way plums season is passing me by without feeding daily on them.

5. Dewormer.. it’s been long.. I have to maintain a clean stomach to keep the appetite.. this is normal people.. it’s normal.

6. Charger and earphones.. duh!! What did you expect? 

7. Tissue.. am only human..

8. Coffee satchet.. what would I do if I start feeling sleepy people? What would I do? Am equipped.. 

Well, as I go through security check.. the guard is smiling at me weirdly.. 

Creepy humans..

Enjoy your weekend and keep safe!!!

Raised metabolism

Well, I saw some nutritionist one week ago and after weighing my BMI and metabolism rate, the only thing I got are negative comments. 

1. Am 4 kilos above my normal weight.

2. My metabolism age is older than my real age by 15 years. 

The later has contributed to my gaining weight… 

Nutrionist advice? Take foods that raise my metabolism rate. How do I know it’s raised? Lots of body warmth.

I have been cold blooded for all my life. It’s rare for me to be without a sweater. 

Trying to follow that advice got me suicidal. Am too warm. I hate it. All I want is to be cold again.. I even voluntarily took a cold shower.. I hate  every moment of it. My sweaters are not needed. I can’t even sleep in peace under blankets. At one point of the night am tossing and turning.. my legs are burning up.. 

I have become some thermal thingie and I hate it. I hate it soo much.. am willing to maintain the weight. 

Am sure Kenya power can tap some energy.. honestly fatness here I come. I might burn inside out..

Love? Maybe not

Hmm… I am a self proclaimed love guru this year… remember? Yea.. my relationship seems to have moved past honeymoon stage.. I am up at 12:12 a.m… I am having issues with bae.. (my bed in particular).

I have been wondering if we ever fall in love.. really. Do we? It’s all in our minds. (Please the like of Maggie Naomi keep off.. same to Karen.. you guys are emotionally retarded.. romantically that is.)

I have once thought of myself in love. It’s has even extended to years of feeling bad because of how unsuccessful it was.. but something I have learnt so far, out of sight, out of mind.. another stranger here and there. Scratching my head and thinking ‘really him? Really?’

‘Marry that guy who gives you the feeling you get when you see food’ 

Damn.. is there any hope for marriage really? Lower that standard.. nobody is gonna give that feeling.. maybe the feeling of soda on bad craving days.. the feeling of cucumber when watching weight.. but honestly the feeling of food?? Food?? Really food?? 

Especially if that food is delicious..  noo.. too high standards for mere mortals..

Let’s discuss this. As of now let me beg bae to take me back.. I might have spent 10 hours yesternight.  Bae is feeling overworked. Goodnight this morning.. blessed Sunday!!

As a woman

Well, I have been under the sun for close to 27 years now.. not young, not old enough to ooze of wisdom, yet as a woman I have learnt..

1

Treat myself

Wait.. what did you expect? I love eating.. so treating myself is simply, feed yourself Winnie with all delicacies.. spoil myself.. 

Nobody else will. So, with that said, lemme enjoy chicken roti then realize it’s mid January and I will broke the entire month. 

I can’t wait for Valentine’s too.. am getting more food you know?? Any suggestions on Mexican cuisine?

2. Love myself

Hi Winnie. I love you. This is me telling me even at my worst. Sometimes, we aren’t good enough to anybody including family.. you can only love yourself and remind yourself  that only other being who loves you limitlessly is God.

3. Nobody can hurt me unless I allow them

It’s me and God against the world. I won’t allow anyone to put me down. This has taken a lot of training. The closest to hurt I come is irritation. If someone irritates me or makes uncomfortable, I have the power to kick you out of my life. I have no time whatsoever to waste on such people. 

I hate hurting people back unless it’s called for.. what? Am not a saint.
4. I am beautiful no matter what you think

There was a time when a comment about my body made me feel bad.. a comment on my boobs.. a comment on my ass or my size.. a comment on my hair.. I would feel like am not beautiful enough.. 

Then I trained myself on leaning towards the positive.. like a taylor commenting on how small my waist is.. like a friend saying my boobs look amazing.  Like my friend saying tall girls are always beautiful.. 

I have learned to appreciate myself. I only watch my weight not to get me on the wrong side of BMI.. nothing else.

I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.. If you think otherwise, that’s your problem. If you think there’s a part of me that I should change, work on yourself. Don’t project your insecurities on me. If you think I should change my walking style, go ahead and give birth to your own kid.. train it in your ways. I haven’t heard my mama complain.

5. Be myself

I am Winnie. Then it is so on earth and heavens. I can only work on improving my weaknesses where necessary.. at times though, am strongest when weak. 

I just saw the Tusker Project Fame judge with a tshirt written

‘i love curves

I love my curls

I love my height

I love my laugh

I love heritage

I simply love being me’
Wise, right?? Well, learn from the weakest of them all.. me.  Love yourself woman.

Falling in love with yourself if the beginning of life long romance..

Enjoy your life .

Now let me eat.. wait.. did I just use my next week fare on food . Damn it!!

Closer married men.. closer

Well, dear brethren, you are gathered here because a fraction of you is behaving super stupidly. Did I say super? Repeat super..

You have a wife in your house. We as your fellow villagers, we know of. We also as your fellow villagers respect it.. 

However, you have decided you can’t be respected. All of a sudden, our bodies are slim, with awesome boobs and fine asses. No fat on our stomach abs. So dresses agree with us.

Your wife, who almost died while giving birth to your child is no longer good enough. You have decided to pursue us of fine asses.. 

Oh no no no brother… ain’t gonna happen. First we of the mortal females race (with brains) know that once we bring forth a baby, our so fine abs wouldn’t be so fine.. our so firm boobs might get a problem, then what? Move to the next?

We of the female race (mortals with brains) do not hurt another woman that way. For your stupidity. We call her aside and give her the cucumber, milk and flour breast firming concotion.. we go ahead and introduce her to one fine Keiara Lashae’s dance videos.. with no time, she be spotting fine ass, abs and superb boobs. 

We refuse to succumb to you mr advances. We also want to remind you, you don’t deserve that woman in your house if that’s how you disrespect her. 

You are too low for any mortal female (include animals here) to stoop to your level. 

Love is blind though.. we shall not blame that beautiful woman who saw something in you ( which by the way might not exist) that we shall never see. 

You should be at her disposal always. She is one of a kind. But then, your brain relocated to your lower parts of the body.. what is expected of you?

Well, time is over.. you are hereby dismissed. Go and behave yourselves. Your fellow villagers are ashamed of you that are misbehaving.

As of you who are amazing.. we salute you. You make yourselves, your maker and your wives proud. Blessed be thy souls. Go ye and preach to your fallen brethren.