Loving Freely

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Recntly, one of my first cousin faded away and we had to gather for the final respects. Nothing is as hard as going to a burial ceremony; not only because because you love them but also because you have to meet all those relatives that you don't like. You gotta hug them, be nice and leave sadder than you arrived.

We stood in the sun with my sisters and two brothers. We were all suffering together smiling to relatives and faking happiness to see them. Introduction after introduction,handshakes, hugs.. These ceremonies are insufferable.

As we complain and look forward to our county governor shutting up so we can finish already and leave, one our cousins arrived. To the rest of the world, this guy has an issues. A tiny bit of him isn't completely normal but to us, he is brand ambassador of love. The moment he sees us, his face lights up and he starts with me and hugs me so happily that it humbles me. He holds on to my hand as he says hi to the rest of my siblings. He goes on to update me how he has been and drags me to say hi to his mother. I watch him introduce me to people that are related to me directly that i never paid attention to. He hugs people. He takes interest to people that I introduce him and asks questions that when i think about them, i have never bothered to ask.

I stand back and watch him and all i can feel is the flow of love and happiness from him. I can't help but feel warmed up and even as the governor gives the mic back to the church guys, I can't help but pray as the pastor says the final prayer that I'd be as loving as this guy. It may look foolish but there is something innocent,pure and beautiful about it. I would want to have this. But how do i get this? How do i get from looking suspiciously at everyone to just loving freely like this guy?

'Soils to soils, it is God who gave and it is God who has taken away'.. The soils from family members hit the casket and it's the final minute. It should have been hard but all i stood there wondering was if I'd ever be able to love as easily, as purely.. as this beautifully as this. Even when writing this, am still wondering, how do you get something as beautiful?

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Online Hustles (clixsense)

When China moves to your country, you become a motivational speaker, you take night shift jobs and learn the paying online sites. That is how i ended in Clixsense. Before you get all defensive and all that shit, Clixsense is a free to join site. It pays you to complete surveys and tasks..

I want to leave my referral link here but i want to just let you know that you ain’t getting rich overnight. You will just have a few extra bucks depending on how much effort you put into it. Mostly, i work on my phone on my way to work and back. I have made about 31 dollars which has been paid through my Skrill account.
Highest earners aren’t African since most surveys aren’t applicable to us. Yet, you could give it a trial. https://www.clixsense.com/?13000212
If you are non African, go ahead and try it and see how it goes. You might get rich and adopt me..
Just note when you register, you have to register again in Figure 8 to access tasks. All the best.
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https://www.clixsense.com/?13000212

Babysitting tips 101

So, over time I’ve come to realize am an empath.. What does that mean? Honestly, no idea.. But i think am a good babysitter.. An excellent babysitter.

Kids look at me and like me for like 2 seconds then forget all about me. It’s for this reason my neighbor thought it was a good idea to leave her kid in my very capable arms.

I was to talk to open the door to their house and talk to him when he woke up. Easy enough, right? Problems came up immediately he woke up. He started screaming in the name of crying. The fact that i was brushing my teeth when i heard him made it hard for me to speak to him. I rushed and opened the door as any good neighbor would and went back tp brushing my teeth.

The kid was trotting behind me bare foot and it only occurred to me that i should probably have looked for ahoes later in the day. He went directly for my laptop and i definitely finished brushing immediately.

I kindly told him off. Weirdly, the kid wasn’t speaking to me. Is it how they behave when they wake up? I hve a pretty face and all so you can’t really say the kid was scared of me. He got tired of not accessing my laptop and as i was busy doing my hair, he walked out. He is just 3 years, how far can he walk bare foot anyway?

I finished with my hair in 5 minuges time and decided to go serve him tea just like a great babysitter. Onlg that he wasn’t in their house, neither was he in the other neighbor’s house.
Trust all gates to be left wide opeb on this particular day. I decide to go after the kid and i can’t find him..
I know he has no shoes and his clothes are kinda dumpy and all that. I also think his mother would marvel at my babysitting skills

I looked around for about 20 minutes and later found him at some mama’s shop. I could have killed the damn kid. Wants to give me a heart atta k at a tender age..

Anyway, you realize am really good at this babysitting job.. So here are my tips
1. Ignore the kid when he start crying.
2. Finish brushing and doing your hair and leave quickly.
When the mother asks, say you left before he woke up.

Unless the kid is yours.. You are stuck with that one hun. Good luck!!

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Don’t be racist!!

Racism.. You’d think we are safe from that since we live in a country with 98% black people but no… Whites have to come all the way from their countries to insult us.. (as if colonizing and enslaving us wasn’t enough).. Before you get all defensive, i have nothing against any human beings unless they start referring to me as a person of colour instead of Winnie or if they lose something and start giving the black people an evil eye..

Yup.. It’s insulting to think being black makes us thugs.. So i was really supporting that a few whites be arrested a few days ago for accusing black for stealing from them just to find the ‘stolen’ item in their bags..

We were all really annoyed and they didn’t even have the courtesy of looking ashamed.. No.. They just went like ‘my bad’  And walked out. So God help us if we didn’t want them facing a few of our very black cops..

How are we even of color anyway? I wonder like Trevor.. Whites fall sick and turn green.. Get sunburns and turn red.. Get bad news and get all pale.. Blacks? We are just black.. Consistently..

Anyway.. Visit us and don’t be racist.. We are just trying to enjoy our lives which is kinda hard with China camping here.. Honestly though Chinese.. Don’t you people have anything to do??

Nairobi Chronicles

Well, for those who think Africa is a country, I’ve bad news for you.. It’s a continent.. You know something like Europe?? Yeah.. Nairobi is the capital city of Kenya.. Beautiful country and beautiful people.

We do love our peace here until when the Shabab think we don’t deserve it  Yesterday was one of those days. Even with all the money we owe China, these terrorists don’t feel bad for us..

They could at least be humane and decide the debt is killing us slowly and painfully and just leave us alone.. But no.. They decide to help the Chinese to kill us. Unlike the Chinese though, these guys had guns and grenades.. Top it up with a suicide bomber..

Really all that Shabab?! Really? All you need is to lend us money, your money will be spent by politicians and then we will be burdened.. Emulate China guys.

Anyway, lives were lost, people injured.. But above all, most people were saved and we are grateful. We can’t have people die just like that. We need every tax payer before China moves into Kenya..

On a serious note though, we spent hours on trafic and overpaid our bus fares.. Importantly, we got home safe.

Hopefully we shall live through this year.. Take care people..

 

Reliving 2018; 2019 good wishes

Well, people have complained about 2018, some have said it was a good year and some think that it was just a year like any other;  but me…well 2018 was the year..

I started living alone in this year.. I fed on more junk food than i have for my entire life.. It is in this year that blames and insults were hurled.. This same year that nobody could take away the peace  i was living..

2018 is the year that flew by with no male drama in my life.. I can’t put into words the tranquility in this particular year.. It was somehow bliss.. Despite things coming up here and there like falling down the stairs and having my ass purple for a month, 2018 has been the year i fell in love with myself and of course avocados..

You might think everything ran smoothly but no.. definitely the devil is a liar.. i did brush shoulders with death and i swear that was the scariest shit that i have ever experienced in my life… What happened? I was crossing the road on a pedestrian crossing and some guy just drove into me. I registered pain hours later. The hours prior i was numb.. Shocked. For a moment there i thought was dead… 😀 Turns out that am alive and God is gracious,

It is 2018 that i decided i would grow up and just look for those that i felt i had unfinished businesses with. Some it has paid off, while some…  what the heck was i thinking?? i have grown up more than i thought i would.. even if a racing car gives me the creeps, i think am all good.

2018 has been a beautiful year. I have more reasons to give thanks. i have so many reasons to laugh, love, cry and live in the moment. Life is too short to just be taken for granted.

As we get into 2019, i lay off any burden, hate, people that weigh me down.Carefree, happy and alive i will live this year,. With thanksgiving for every day that passes. I will hang out more with those i love. I will not let pride in the way. I will be happy. I will be a hand when i can…

I hope to write more. I also hope and pray that this year goes well for every reader  of the post. May 2019 bring you peace, love, joy and the strength to stand during hard times. May there  be peace that nobody understands in your hearts.. Blessings!!!! and be kind to one another..

The problem with pain

It may sound like one of the CS Lewis books, but trust me it isn’t.

You toss and turn in your bed. You can’t sleep .Your pillow is soaked in tears. Your eyes are heavy.. You wish for sleep or something to numb the pain. Nothing you try works. Absolutely nothing.

 

You don’t wake up… because you never slept in the first place.. You can’t think of a reason to go on with life.. You drag yourself out of bed looking haggard.. no appetite..

You look around and think that nobody understands your pain. How can they know? Nobody can identify with what you are going through. At some level you are right because we all handle pain in different ways.. We are all affected at different levels. I however want to sound cliche here.. “Nothing is new under the sun. Everything that is here, has been experienced” Lost a parent? Has happened.. Lost a kid? Yup.. It has happened.. Lost everything? Do I need to keep saying it has happened? You get the gist . it..

 

All I want to encourage is letting someone in. Let them help you with the pain. Let someone hold you.. Let someone listen to you.. Let someone fight with you. If you are spiritual like me talk it to God. When I have found myself in painful situations, I call my best friend. Most times there is nothing she can do physically, but at least I know I have someone on my side and trust me it has gotten me through lots of shit..

With pain, nobody can prep you enough on what to expect or how you are gonna  feel… nobody tells you how it is gonna hurt like a bitch.. Nobody can prepare you for pain. .And yes, nobody can understand your pain… All I can do is encourage you to share it out.. Let someone know how it feels.. Don’t fight alone.. You can even reach out online…

With the rising number of suicide cases in the country I can’t help but hope that someone will read this and want to fight. Do reach out, even to me… {you got to buy me food though.. sorry. I suck and I know it} but honestly don’t give up without trying. Wishing every other Kenyan a fighting spirit.  Let us all be our brothers keeper. Help soak off some pain in any way you can.

Somebody could always use a hug

On marriage

There’s something about broken marriages that makes me soo sad.. people who loved each hating each other… it’s so sad

I’ve never been married, neither has there been divorce in my family that I know of, yet it still gets to me. 

People inflicting pain on each other .  On kids.. on those around them.. I just sit and wish that both parties would be willing to fight and have the marriage work.. 

Before divorce happens, one person  has to have given up fighting. The partner is then left to chase the wind.. once they are tired, it falls apart..

I hope everyone married out there will fight as much as they can to have the marriage work.. unless you got married hoping to fail

Kenya is a good country… beautiful people and everything… at the moment though… am soo willing to move.. corruption thy name is Kenyan politicians..