Finally it’s weekend. To top it up, we have the sun here after a month of freezing!!!! 

Have a good one folks!!


A penny for your thoughts?

‘I really love him. I can’t move on..’
‘She is my everything.. I can’t imagine life without her’..

These are statements I hear and most likely when you ain’t watching, I roll my eyes. Why? It makes no sense to me. 

90% of the time, we ain’t in love.. I’ll talk on behalf of women here.. guys are complicated humans who will camp in your Facebook direct messages for   a year and when you say yes, they leave with better self esteem..
Why don’t we want to move on? The money? The compliments?? What exactly? I think we are as women convincing ourselves it wasn’t one sided… we want it to work somehow. Unless we you wweren’t our first choice.. we settled for you as a plan B. 
Now, mostly when someone talks to me and say they love me, I think to myself, ‘is it me you are kidding or are you kidding yourself?’ In this century, it’s hard to tell.. 

.Do soulmates exist? Movies are such a scam..  they are worse scam than the statement I make on trying harder to be nice .
Someone enlighten me through and through.  Which generation are we in??

Why throw a baby?

I’ll never at whatever time understand unwanted pregnancy apart from rape cases maybe.. so you were having unprotected sex and you expected? A  tv? 
I think it’s the responsibility of two consenting adults to ensure they don’t get pregnant at whatever time. There’s also an uprising generation of men idiots who convince women to get pregnant for them then leave.. what the heck!!

I always wanted to be an Army cadet… Men you can go and give thanks that didn’t happen.. I’d now be beating the crap out of these young men who are the definition of stupidity and irresponsibility… 

Now am worried though, a young baby collected dumped.. alive.  What the heck#!!! There are so many women out there who would raise that baby, please just find them and disappear forever.. 

The kid is harmless… or at least leave it in the hospital. . On the road in July weather?? Where are human instincts?? 

I have no idea what the world is coming to… but am sure it would be solved if the ability to have sex was taken away… 

Go your way rejoicing that I have absolutely no power to do that. If I did have any powers… 

Let’s have a good responsible week… and if you are pregnant and don’t want it, find me… I’ll figure out how to raise human babies.. I’ve raised cat babies.. Humans can’t be that hard now, can they?


(Serious post alert)

‘Do not be yoked together with non-believers’

This is a warning Paul gives to the Corinthians.. It really never made sense to me being one who loves people easily (and forget them as easily).. Am one who thought of myself as a free spirit.. something within me even lied to me that I’d even get married to a Muslim and just maintain my religion.. 

Oh what a lie.. what a fool I was.. when I think of yoking, marriage comes into mind. It’s the one thing most of us make mistakes at.. it’s here that life just heads South when we expected it to head North..
As I grow older, the wisdom in that verse strikes me.. of course every other verse is wise, but this one strikes me.. 

It doesn’t matter who you are, if you get yourself married to someone who doesn’t share in what you believe in, your visions, your religion, your behaviours, your passions, oh damn.. it’s gonna be hard. If someone loves stuff that I  hate, don’t  I dare convince myself that they will change.. that decision can only come from them.. 

I have watched people crumble, cry, get hurt.. simply because of that one little thing..  Two good people who loved each other.  But never shared beliefs and visions.. 
It’s a hectic world. I am trying to learn not to lie to myself in any form of relationships.. If she believes in begging for money from men, that could never make my friend.. If she lies to other people when am standing right there with the truth.. that’s a no no..

If he smokes, drink.. we aren’t going to relate well.. 

So many things.. so so many things and day in day out, after watching the pain people are putting each other through, I can’t help but pray if am gonna be that much pain to someone’s son, am ready to die single.. if someone is gonna be that much pain to me, I’d rather die single..

What I pray is, we shall all watch those we get yoked with especially in marriages.. 

Do not be yoked to a non believer.. So God help us.. 

White husband hunting

Well, do people hunt for husbands?? Am thinking arrows, a bow and good eyesight.. Mama, I must bring home one..  why don’t all single whites who love chocolates hit me up?? 

Oh crap.. I didn’t write that!!!

Anyway, the craze is real in Kenya.. if you are out there and you got dollars to spend and want a dark girl, please book a flight.. Me?? Oh please no.. I take my coffee black.. 

This was prompted by someone who was conned by a guy claiming to be white (yes it’s that bad). She met a guy online, chat him up and exchanged photos. The guy says he will send her stuff from the U.S and she is super excited.. Few days later she receives a call from the ‘port’ to send money to clear her parcel.

She sent around 25 dollars. The guy then tells her he put 2,000 dollars in the parcel.. The ‘port’ guys also call to say since they screened and found money in her parcel, she has to semd 75 more dollars.. 

At this point I think this girl is super dumb.. if you are sending me a present, clear all bills. Otherwise I don’t want it. 

Secondly, the sea takes around  45 days to 90 days to get stuff to the port.. surprisingly, this girl pays the 75 dollars.. ( I really need to stop laughing)..

I felt bad for her some.. but honestly are we husband hunting or money hunting?? Anyway, now she got to raise money to pay back the 100 dollars.. 

Lemme get my bow and arrows.. I need a white one.. shall we??

Signs of ageing

Well, most people think that ageing starts with some unfine lines on your face.. or is it wrinkles? I hate to break it to you, but that’s a lie.  

This is how you know you are ageing 

You live alone

Living alone is sheer madness. It turns your years to be more than you expect. 

How?? Picture me. No radio, I lost my earphones somehow.. I think am living with a ghost.. now I have to talk to my gas 

‘Oya gas, don’t run out this week. You know the month is at a bad bad place.. just stick with me buddy..’
I place pasta on the gas. The house tap has no water. I gotta get water from the outside tap.. 

Now am giving instructions to the pasta.. ‘oya pasta.. don’t burn. Don’t make me fat.. am just gonna get water  and be back’ 
2 minutes am back.. ‘pasta are you cooked?? No?? Horrible pasta.’ 

I throw in an egg into the pasta.  Then am like.  

‘Egg, amma boil you, peel you up, put onion and tomatoes then eat you up.. 

Horrible decision.  I know . Raw onions make my mouth smell like death even after brushing.. who cares’..
I also have to whisper just in case someone is passing by… 

Am also whispering Ellen Degenere’s slogan ‘Be kind to one another.’
I officially think am 105 years old.. lines are yet to appear.. or is it wrinkles?? Goodnight!!

Is it warm?

I sit bored at Lavington mall terrace. I am supposed to be selling gelato but customers aren’t around.. well, there’s always candy crash.. that’s what am doing..
I waste all lives and start checking out the ‘Gelato Messina’ page and can’t help wish that our creative team is as creative as theirs.. well.. not.. Am staring at their coconut gelato
‘Hi! What flavours do you have today?? Am looking for something tangy’
‘Lemon it is’ I reply.

‘I’ll have a scoop of lemon and some salted popcorns’ she says and finds hetself a seat..
Soon as am done serving her, someone else comes in. She isn’t like any of our customers and she speaks Swahili.

‘Hi. What can I get you?’ I ask with a fake smile as I think to myself on how creased my cheeks might be due to fake smile.

She hands me a paper. Its written ‘caramel’ on it.

‘ We don’t have that one’ I tell her in Swahili.

I ask her for her boss’s number and calls her.
‘Hi. This is Fior di Latte,you ordered a scoop of caramel. Am sorry we are out of that. Can I get you a scoop of Tiramisu?’
She agrees
Soon as I start scooping on the tiramisu, the girl is on my back.. ‘Why were you calling my boss. Ain’t that the same one you gave me last time?’
‘No ma’am.It’s different’ I reply in Swahili.

I try handing it to her and she demands I warm it. Well, the customer with lemon gelato chokes on hers.. she has been joined by a friend and 2 kids who also wants to order.

I try to lower my voice and tell her that it’s okay as it is but she is adamant. Plus it makes her feel good to order me, I suspect.
‘Warm it’ she insists..
The customers can’t maintain straight faces. Am also trying so hard and my eyes are tearing up.

I just can’t look at her.

The lady customer finally has a straight face and tells her ‘It’s warm enough. If you don’t get it home in 10 minutes it will have gone bad and your boss won’t like it’

‘ oh’ is all she replies as she takes off.

Soon as she is out of there, I laugh then later feel bad for her.. Her boss ought to treat her out

‘Thou shall not kill

Every other time I hear Kenyan news, the novel ‘Cry Vengeance’ comes into my mind and I have to continually recite the commandment ‘thou shall not kill’.
Cry Vengeance is about a cop ‘Brenda Blinkman’ who investogates deaths of rapists.. With her is a journalist who follows up the story. Every other time a rapist is set free ( the system is freaking rotten); he ends up dead. Brenda and other cops can’t seem to get any evidence.
How is that similar? Rape cases in Kenya have become rampant. From hospitals, to National secondary schools to primary schools. Do we see any man castrated or hanged or behind bars? No… definitely not. The media follows it up and at some point tires. When the police realize media is off their backs, they take a bribe and go their way rejoicing.  

Women are hurt.. kids are hurt.. high school girls are hurt.  Nothing happens. This makes me wish I could just cry vengeance.. 

You know why they never caught the killer? Because Brenda the lead cop was the killer. Nobody deserves rape.. especially not a 9 year old.  And it’s frustrating to see nothing being done.. 

I honestly need to move to another country.  The madness in this country is killing me. I really need to see God work in a better way . 😦

About Father’s Day

Well, today was father’s day.. 

For a few past years, I have wished my father  a happy one.. but then this year, I have come to accept that he is gone. If I write or not write, it makes no difference to him. 

In realizing that, I have also decided the only father I’d appreciate is ‘our Father art in Heaven’. I just give thanks. 

I’ve seen people wish their mothers happy father’s day but I just let it slip. My mother raised me as a mother would. Through and through. All I can do is appreciate her for being an amazing father. 

I sat down and reflected. I concluded that no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t forge a relationship with any man that ain’t my brother. It is not in me. Don’t get me wrong, am no lesbian at all but just you know..

To me this father’s day will just be another day for me. I’ll wish my brothers a good father’s day.. that’s all.. wait.. maybe remember a few insults and smile as I go my way planning on how to adopt a cat when I hit 30. 

In case you are wondering, one shameless idiot once said that his father told him to never marry a woman raised by a woman.. I just couldn’t believe my years.. It’s depressing when most of my filtered messages in my Facebook is from him asking to meet up. 

Men.. smh.. you are a topic I don’t know if I want to pursue at whatever level. Probably keep chilling until and just see what happens?? 

Happy father’s day to any father around here. Cheers!!

Life problems

Sometimes I sit down and think am emotionally unstable.. The main emotions that operate within me are total annoyance or I really want to just be left alone.. 

People giving negative comments about me or picking on me is annoying me to levels I can’t also understand.. Just want them out if my life.  Problem is when they are family.. 

Well, I sit and know the only balance I have is God. If I didn’t take that in consideration, I honestly ain’t bothered by any doings.  

I seriously do need a shrink.. wait.. my best friend is one and that woman is just gonna make me mad eventually.. 

Anyway, I try my best not to be mean to people.   I have to remind myself not to give negative comnents and stuff.. .. 

Why was I writing this post again? Hopefully write something sober soon.. 🙂