About Father’s Day

Well, today was father’s day.. 

For a few past years, I have wished my father  a happy one.. but then this year, I have come to accept that he is gone. If I write or not write, it makes no difference to him. 

In realizing that, I have also decided the only father I’d appreciate is ‘our Father art in Heaven’. I just give thanks. 

I’ve seen people wish their mothers happy father’s day but I just let it slip. My mother raised me as a mother would. Through and through. All I can do is appreciate her for being an amazing father. 

I sat down and reflected. I concluded that no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t forge a relationship with any man that ain’t my brother. It is not in me. Don’t get me wrong, am no lesbian at all but just you know..

To me this father’s day will just be another day for me. I’ll wish my brothers a good father’s day.. that’s all.. wait.. maybe remember a few insults and smile as I go my way planning on how to adopt a cat when I hit 30. 

In case you are wondering, one shameless idiot once said that his father told him to never marry a woman raised by a woman.. I just couldn’t believe my years.. It’s depressing when most of my filtered messages in my Facebook is from him asking to meet up. 

Men.. smh.. you are a topic I don’t know if I want to pursue at whatever level. Probably keep chilling until and just see what happens?? 

Happy father’s day to any father around here. Cheers!!

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Life problems

Sometimes I sit down and think am emotionally unstable.. The main emotions that operate within me are total annoyance or I really want to just be left alone.. 

People giving negative comments about me or picking on me is annoying me to levels I can’t also understand.. Just want them out if my life.  Problem is when they are family.. 

Well, I sit and know the only balance I have is God. If I didn’t take that in consideration, I honestly ain’t bothered by any doings.  

I seriously do need a shrink.. wait.. my best friend is one and that woman is just gonna make me mad eventually.. 

Anyway, I try my best not to be mean to people.   I have to remind myself not to give negative comnents and stuff.. .. 

Why was I writing this post again? Hopefully write something sober soon.. 🙂

It has just been this weather and feeling and happenings . The weather has been warm, yet cold.. The sun has been shining and looking friendly yet scorching.. it hurts..

Winds have been blowing harder than they should.. it’s a turn of events.. unexpected.. surprising.. 

One day we have the rains, the other day we have the sun.. and wind.. strong winds that could blow you off.. 

I’ll keep bees.. and hope they don’t ‘sting..’

‘But, won’t they be disturbed? ‘ I ask.

‘No.. I will fence.. You know my younger brother.. your uncle or dad according to traditions? We once threw stones to a hive. Bees attacked us.. we went to the hospital’ 

‘ haha.. why would you do that? ‘ 

‘We were boys you know’ 
Barely 4 days later.. 

Just like the weather.. winds blew.. too strong winds..

Hospital bed.. lying there.  

‘Thanks for visiting.. with your friend.. ‘ 

What?? I can’t stand it.. just like the sun.. it scorches.. hurts.. I don’t want to be there. It’s me.. If you can’t recognize me, who will?? 

Strong winds.. careful not to be swirled and blown away.. Stay strong for all of us. Once they stop sedating you, I will be back and not break down hopefully. 

Get well soon Father.

Life as it is

We all have battles we are fighting on our own.. if lucky, maybe someone is right there fighting it with you.. However, I think most times we are on our own.. 

Times when you wake up from sleep with worries, from bad dreams or memories.. Times you wake up crying and fall asleep on tear soaked pillow.. 

It is how life is.. for me.. well, am not telling.. 

From the depressing thoughts, yesterday I think I finally acknowledged that my taste is dark toned guys.. damn.. 

There’s something alluring on the dark toned guys.. you know like Tyrese Gibson?? You get me ladies, right? Well.. something related to how you can’t say no to dark chocolate? Something like black is beautiful? Captivating?? 

Oh well, weekend is coming up, have fun, take care and go to church please.

Live life a day at a time.. It is how it is and supposed to be lived as.

Stuck in traffic posts

Hmm.. it has been ages since I was stuck in traffic. I happen to live an area where traffic is very very light but today am headed to my ‘mum’s’. Traffic here is crazy.

I might as well as update y’all what I have been up to. For starters, I was at the British High Commission Kenya on the day the royal wedding was taking place..  I even took a photo with one of those Britons.. (spoiler alert, I never got the photo sent to me). That’s not the best bit though.. 

The food was the deal. I have no idea how it concerns us on the prince getting married but well, it does. The food served by Carnivore was just amazing.. I ate enough meat to last me for a year..

Wait.. how did I get there?? My boss had a stand of alcohol infused sorbets and I spent time talking to Britons on our brand.  And serving too.  We the flavors were old fashioned whiskey, Pina Colada, mohito and we had some gelato that had Baileys.. 

Oh how the guys we just normal ice cream hated us. It was fun.. 

Weird compliments came on my way and even now my cheeks hurt from fake smiling.. Damn.. I hate pretending smiles.. 

Anyway, I never thought I’d ever be hungry until I woke up yesterday thinking I was dying from starvation.. 

Well, maybe the post wasn’t an update.  It was about bragging on how much amazing food I ate.  Wait, is there another prince in that family?? He needs to get married soon. I need more food.. 

Have a blessed week!!!

Hustles

Well, am healthy so no complains, but the mall I hustle at sometimes caught fire and is inaccessible. The insurance guys are still accessing the damage. ;So I am home.. bored and sleepy.

I have been looking around internet for ways to make money online and didn’t come up with anything useful..

The only site I ran into is paidviewpoint or something of the sort and registered.. problem is that probability of earning more than 15 dollars a month is low..

Well, if they promised 15 dollars, it would be okay for me.. that some bit of cash for a few items for my house..

I did join though.. maybe whenever I get to 15 dollars, I’ll be needing that cash..
Here’s the link.. you can join with my link and be in my circle.. a few more dollars won’t harm nobody

http://paidviewpoint.com?r=lfyim6

Copy that into your browser maybe

Family matters

It’s after much thought, much listening and much observing that I have decided to put up this post to just appreciate my family for;

1. Love

Am surrounded by brothers who love me, a mother whose love knows no boundaries, an uncle who would go through  fire for me, an auntie who feeds me to death and another uncle who hugs me like am still a young girl.. My sisters.. who idolize me.. I just don’t think I appreciated them enough until I heard one of the girls I know, who is almost 30 years of age saying her brother hit her.. and their mother watched. It opened my eyes to how much ignorant I am. My brothers always defend me. Nobody dare raise a hand against me.. they spoil me.. they pet me.. I can’t explain it. I just always thought that that’s how  brothers treat their sisters.. my mum defends me.. even when my brother dare joke about me.. My aunt almost went crazy when someone made a negative comment.. my eyes are wide open now at how much love surrounds me.

2. Support

I can’t remember when I wasn’t supported ever.  Well, am aware of this for some time.. I got friends whose family behave like they don’t exist. All complaining and whining I have ever done sounds like crap right now. Am a spoilt brat. I just didn’t realize it 

3. Discipline

Well, did I ever tell you my mum was an army woman?? My aunt a noisy one.. that woman can lecture you continually for hours. I always watched not to step on their toes.  To respect my uncles and not cross boundaries. My mum always made it clear if I ever got pregnant, she would see to it that I got the baby and raised it well.. This is something I think parents should instil. Well, my brothers never went untouched. I remember when a family friend’s teen got pregnant and my younger brother got toasted for it and he wasn’t even responsible for it. My mum was ready to use his campus fee.. I have never laughed so hard in my life. We always were told on how to live and relate with others. 

I am one not in support of abortion. If we are preserving trees, shouldn’t we preserve human life?? I just realized how much that was important when a friend’s sister was helped by the mother to get rid of 7 month’s pregnancy.The women crying out there for just one kid.  Just one.. 

I feel bad.. 

And I feel unappreciative of my family.. Day in day out, as I relate with people, it opens my eyes on how ignorant I have been of the good gifts that God has bestowed me with.. How could I have been so blind?? 

I don’t want to dwell on it.. I just want to go out of my way to appreciate my family.. 
Maybe think of this too?? Have a blessed weekend.. 

#Family

Saturday issues

I think of calling one of my friends.. well, not to check on her but to ask her not to use my coconut oil that was brought from Coast by another friend.
Before I could call her, she calls me and in my mind I think we might be twins in the parallel world.. who knows? Maybe we are.
Instead of saying hi, I pick and say ‘please don’t tell me you have used my coconut oil’
She is quiet for a moment and then tells me to shut my basket mouth.. mean mean friend..
‘well, am calling to tell you that our mutual friend was drugged in a bus’ she says..
‘What friend?’
‘The one whose coconut oil you can’t stop yapping about’
I almost drop my phone. The friend in question is one of the few friend I have. She is from the Coast of Kenya, one of the most beautiful places in the country and is an aweso awesome cook.
‘Is she okay? What happened?? How?’

‘Please shut up.. she woke up in the hospital. She couldn’t speak but she is better. All her stuff was stolen,’

Oh no.. I feel totally bad for not asking if she got to Mombasa safely. I am a horrible friend.

‘Some guy offered her a biscuits. She refused. He insisted. She picked one and doesn’t remember a thing. She woke up in the hospital’

Oh no.. my friend makes a joke of warning us on being too friendly and accepting stranger’s food.
When she hangs up, I call up my other friend. She doesn’t pick but she chats me up on Whatsapp. She is weak but I am so grateful she is alive. Something worse could have happened.

Soon as am done speaking to her, the manager of the shop we have a stand in comes by.
‘Have you talked to Divya?’

No.. not yet. I reply.

In my mind I have no intention of talking to her concerning a job. Because, well, it’s the same manager who has an obsession on my boobs, who is trying to hook me up with a new job. I can’t owe him favors. I have no intentions whatsoever of letting him get close to my boobs. The fact that he wants me working under him makes me more determined to stick to my stand.

‘Well, if I were you I’d talk to Divya. Your stand will probably be gotten rid of.’

Well, if Saturday hasn’t been full of news.
I might go jobless, but my trust is God.. so pray for me, will you?