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Finally it’s weekend. To top it up, we have the sun here after a month of freezing!!!! 

Have a good one folks!!

A penny for your thoughts?

‘I really love him. I can’t move on..’
‘She is my everything.. I can’t imagine life without her’..

These are statements I hear and most likely when you ain’t watching, I roll my eyes. Why? It makes no sense to me. 

90% of the time, we ain’t in love.. I’ll talk on behalf of women here.. guys are complicated humans who will camp in your Facebook direct messages for   a year and when you say yes, they leave with better self esteem..
Why don’t we want to move on? The money? The compliments?? What exactly? I think we are as women convincing ourselves it wasn’t one sided… we want it to work somehow. Unless we you wweren’t our first choice.. we settled for you as a plan B. 
Now, mostly when someone talks to me and say they love me, I think to myself, ‘is it me you are kidding or are you kidding yourself?’ In this century, it’s hard to tell.. 

.Do soulmates exist? Movies are such a scam..  they are worse scam than the statement I make on trying harder to be nice .
Someone enlighten me through and through.  Which generation are we in??

Why throw a baby?

I’ll never at whatever time understand unwanted pregnancy apart from rape cases maybe.. so you were having unprotected sex and you expected? A  tv? 
I think it’s the responsibility of two consenting adults to ensure they don’t get pregnant at whatever time. There’s also an uprising generation of men idiots who convince women to get pregnant for them then leave.. what the heck!!

I always wanted to be an Army cadet… Men you can go and give thanks that didn’t happen.. I’d now be beating the crap out of these young men who are the definition of stupidity and irresponsibility… 

Now am worried though, a young baby collected dumped.. alive.  What the heck#!!! There are so many women out there who would raise that baby, please just find them and disappear forever.. 

The kid is harmless… or at least leave it in the hospital. . On the road in July weather?? Where are human instincts?? 

I have no idea what the world is coming to… but am sure it would be solved if the ability to have sex was taken away… 

Go your way rejoicing that I have absolutely no power to do that. If I did have any powers… 

Let’s have a good responsible week… and if you are pregnant and don’t want it, find me… I’ll figure out how to raise human babies.. I’ve raised cat babies.. Humans can’t be that hard now, can they?

Relationships

(Serious post alert)

‘Do not be yoked together with non-believers’

This is a warning Paul gives to the Corinthians.. It really never made sense to me being one who loves people easily (and forget them as easily).. Am one who thought of myself as a free spirit.. something within me even lied to me that I’d even get married to a Muslim and just maintain my religion.. 

Oh what a lie.. what a fool I was.. when I think of yoking, marriage comes into mind. It’s the one thing most of us make mistakes at.. it’s here that life just heads South when we expected it to head North..
As I grow older, the wisdom in that verse strikes me.. of course every other verse is wise, but this one strikes me.. 

It doesn’t matter who you are, if you get yourself married to someone who doesn’t share in what you believe in, your visions, your religion, your behaviours, your passions, oh damn.. it’s gonna be hard. If someone loves stuff that I  hate, don’t  I dare convince myself that they will change.. that decision can only come from them.. 

I have watched people crumble, cry, get hurt.. simply because of that one little thing..  Two good people who loved each other.  But never shared beliefs and visions.. 
It’s a hectic world. I am trying to learn not to lie to myself in any form of relationships.. If she believes in begging for money from men, that could never make my friend.. If she lies to other people when am standing right there with the truth.. that’s a no no..

If he smokes, drink.. we aren’t going to relate well.. 

So many things.. so so many things and day in day out, after watching the pain people are putting each other through, I can’t help but pray if am gonna be that much pain to someone’s son, am ready to die single.. if someone is gonna be that much pain to me, I’d rather die single..

What I pray is, we shall all watch those we get yoked with especially in marriages.. 

Do not be yoked to a non believer.. So God help us.. 

White husband hunting

Well, do people hunt for husbands?? Am thinking arrows, a bow and good eyesight.. Mama, I must bring home one..  why don’t all single whites who love chocolates hit me up?? 

Oh crap.. I didn’t write that!!!

Anyway, the craze is real in Kenya.. if you are out there and you got dollars to spend and want a dark girl, please book a flight.. Me?? Oh please no.. I take my coffee black.. 

This was prompted by someone who was conned by a guy claiming to be white (yes it’s that bad). She met a guy online, chat him up and exchanged photos. The guy says he will send her stuff from the U.S and she is super excited.. Few days later she receives a call from the ‘port’ to send money to clear her parcel.

She sent around 25 dollars. The guy then tells her he put 2,000 dollars in the parcel.. The ‘port’ guys also call to say since they screened and found money in her parcel, she has to semd 75 more dollars.. 

At this point I think this girl is super dumb.. if you are sending me a present, clear all bills. Otherwise I don’t want it. 

Secondly, the sea takes around  45 days to 90 days to get stuff to the port.. surprisingly, this girl pays the 75 dollars.. ( I really need to stop laughing)..

I felt bad for her some.. but honestly are we husband hunting or money hunting?? Anyway, now she got to raise money to pay back the 100 dollars.. 

Lemme get my bow and arrows.. I need a white one.. shall we??

Signs of ageing

Well, most people think that ageing starts with some unfine lines on your face.. or is it wrinkles? I hate to break it to you, but that’s a lie.  

This is how you know you are ageing 

You live alone

Living alone is sheer madness. It turns your years to be more than you expect. 

How?? Picture me. No radio, I lost my earphones somehow.. I think am living with a ghost.. now I have to talk to my gas 

‘Oya gas, don’t run out this week. You know the month is at a bad bad place.. just stick with me buddy..’
I place pasta on the gas. The house tap has no water. I gotta get water from the outside tap.. 

Now am giving instructions to the pasta.. ‘oya pasta.. don’t burn. Don’t make me fat.. am just gonna get water  and be back’ 
2 minutes am back.. ‘pasta are you cooked?? No?? Horrible pasta.’ 

I throw in an egg into the pasta.  Then am like.  

‘Egg, amma boil you, peel you up, put onion and tomatoes then eat you up.. 

Horrible decision.  I know . Raw onions make my mouth smell like death even after brushing.. who cares’..
I also have to whisper just in case someone is passing by… 

Am also whispering Ellen Degenere’s slogan ‘Be kind to one another.’
I officially think am 105 years old.. lines are yet to appear.. or is it wrinkles?? Goodnight!!