Dancing with myself

It’s not just now that I have realized real conversations with real humans stresses me up.
Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with humans.. really.. especially when they are faking smiles, faking laughs and correct everything you say.
It becomes a pain in the butt when they try to ridicule my hair.. simply because I won’t comply.. my hair is damn shaggy.. it’s what God gave me, right?
So I decide I really don’t care. Let everyone say whatever they want. Let them make conversations so long as am not dragged into them. I will chat with real people. Who aren’t afraid of being themselves.. and if I can’t find such people, I will plug in my earphones and dance to very loud music alone.. I will turn and not give fake smiles; shake my head and keep walking. I won’t unplug one earphone to listen to a talk that doesn’t interest me.. I would rather listen to Casting Crowns a thousand times without a care of the world.
With my two left feet, I shall be dancing with me.. happily.

Where is he?? 

Well, December is coming up very fast. Faster than I can keep up. 

I can foresee Christmas time smiling wickedly at me. As usual, I will have to go home.. My neighbors will look out.. oh.. they won’t be looking at whatever shopping I took for my mum.. 

No.. my old neighbor will holla at me and ask ‘are you still the same? ‘ I will answer yes.. before running away..

I will then spot my brothe Sam who somehow managed to cheat a girl to marry him.. He will be smiling wickedly too.. He will definitely have overheard my old neighbor and instead of saying hi, he will elaborate further..

‘Winnie you know what granny is asking?’

I will shake my head and curse him silently..
‘She asking, why isn’t anyone else with you? Why aren’t you pregnant? Why are you weird? 

You know you are old siz. You are soiling our family name.. now daughters will be warned

‘See the daughter of Chege? Don’t be like her.. she is aged and unmarried.’

I will hit my brother and tell him to shut up. He will laugh at me and I will come ask for someone who needs a brother here.. 
My worst moment will be with my mother.  That woman is terrifying.. 

She will hug me and say am skinny no matter how heavy I will be. 

She will also start giving me information that I already know..

‘Oh Winnie.. you look skinny!! Aren’t you eating in Nairobi? 

By the way, Mary, the girl you schooled with? She got married.. oh you should have been at the wedding. She was soo beautiful.. she looked so good..

And have you talked to your cousin Leah? Her kid is so beautiful. And they look so good together with the husband.. oh have you…’

I will cut her short

‘Mum, how are you doing??’

‘You can see am old young lady.. and you aren’t growing any younger. Where is he? I need to be called grandmother’..

I will try to convince her that Maggie Naomi and Lalyne Tasha are older than me.. yet unmarried.. 

She will say she doesn’t know them..

As she keeps talking, I will try to come up with a story to convince Lalyne and Maggie to visit my mum in Kinangop.. why would I be lectured alone while they are also unmarried?

My younger sister will try to come to my rescue and she will get herself in trouble..

‘Young woman, don’t listen to your older sister.. if this one gets married I will be just be..
I will plan my escape to plums trees.. my younger sister will follow me laughing..

Where is he? 

Winnie feed on cold stuff as you want then start complaining of tonsillitis..

I will then just sit on the plum tree branch and wonder together with my mum.. 

Where is he?

Wait.. who are we asking for again??
Totally confused Winnie

Just a day

There’s nothing worse than waking up late.. wait.. actually, there is..

I wake up at around 7:20. I feel like shit. I can’t breath well. My head is throbbing and I have swollen tonsils.. they are blocking any effort to breath..
I am starving I guess.. I also guess cold showers are out of question.

I take a hot shower.  I struggle with breakfast.  I feel helpless. Nothing is worse than inability to eat.

Around 8:40, I drag myself out of the house. Chemist first, work later.
Soon as I spot a decent chemist, I step in.. 

I ask for the strongest antibiotic they have.. .

I leave a few minutes later, after swallowing around 5 tablets.  I gotta be fine. 

I get into a mat and my day can’t get worse.. my seatmate is in a chatty mood. 

Earphones.. Earphones.. my brain is screaming for earphones as my hands work furiously in my old bag to get them.. ..

Damn… they are somewhere else.. definitely not in my bag. I feel suicidal immediately. 
Fast forward 1 hour later

Am sitted somewhere in Sarit sweating profusely.. the antibiotics were stronger than I thought.. I struggle with the urge to throw up.. 

I am pressed for a poop and my stomach is gonna kill me.. 

15 minutes later am out of the loo..
clostridium difficile associated diarrhoea has been reported with use of nearly all antibacterial agents, including Azithromycin and may rangein severity from mild diarrhoea to fatal colitis..
Am officially screwed.. .

Yes.. something is worse than waking up late

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