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Recntly, one of my first cousin faded away and we had to gather for the final respects. Nothing is as hard as going to a burial ceremony; not only because because you love them but also because you have to meet all those relatives that you don't like. You gotta hug them, be nice and leave sadder than you arrived.
We stood in the sun with my sisters and two brothers. We were all suffering together smiling to relatives and faking happiness to see them. Introduction after introduction,handshakes, hugs.. These ceremonies are insufferable.
As we complain and look forward to our county governor shutting up so we can finish already and leave, one our cousins arrived. To the rest of the world, this guy has an issues. A tiny bit of him isn't completely normal but to us, he is brand ambassador of love. The moment he sees us, his face lights up and he starts with me and hugs me so happily that it humbles me. He holds on to my hand as he says hi to the rest of my siblings. He goes on to update me how he has been and drags me to say hi to his mother. I watch him introduce me to people that are related to me directly that i never paid attention to. He hugs people. He takes interest to people that I introduce him and asks questions that when i think about them, i have never bothered to ask.
I stand back and watch him and all i can feel is the flow of love and happiness from him. I can't help but feel warmed up and even as the governor gives the mic back to the church guys, I can't help but pray as the pastor says the final prayer that I'd be as loving as this guy. It may look foolish but there is something innocent,pure and beautiful about it. I would want to have this. But how do i get this? How do i get from looking suspiciously at everyone to just loving freely like this guy?
'Soils to soils, it is God who gave and it is God who has taken away'.. The soils from family members hit the casket and it's the final minute. It should have been hard but all i stood there wondering was if I'd ever be able to love as easily, as purely.. as this beautifully as this. Even when writing this, am still wondering, how do you get something as beautiful?