I stand there and watch him.. His shoulders dropped. I want so bad to reach out.. Yet am afraid..
Am afraid that he is broken.. And it will break me.. Am afraid once i touch him, i will soak in his pain..
’29 years is all he got.. It is the Lord…’ the words of the clergyman are carried away by the wind.
My focus is on him.. I can feel my mood shift.. A storm is raging within me.. i step forward.
The few people separating us can feel my movement. They step aside..
I stretch out my hand.. And everything isn’t the same..
‘Let the family take a handful of soil..’.
Our heads are bowed down.. Women wailing only makes it worse. I can literally touch pain.. brokenness..
‘We will not hold onto the soil.. we will let it go’..
The sound of soil lumps hitting the coffin is the final straw..
We may fight it, but as the sun rises, so will it set..
I hold on tightly to him.. He is silently weeping…. It is the worst feeling to watch someone you love break at your sight.. Yet you can’t do a thing..
I stand there holding on.. It is 2:02 p.m. So far from sunset, yet the sun has sunk.. There’s no light.. There’s nothing..
The clouds are in position.. Sunset is supposed to be beautiful.. A celebration of a sunny day well spent..Yet here we are.. Just in the afternoon.. Watching a storm build up.. With heads bowed down and downcast souls.. Our hands with traces of red soils..
Early sunset is a bitch and sure hurts more than a bitch..
For the sake of your brother, I will hold this candle.. For his consolation, i will walk with my head bowed down…
For the sake of his sanity, i will walk close to him.. For his respect i will come for thy final bow…
For you see, that man you call your brother, is of golden heart. He everything to me. He is a father, a brother, an uncle and above all a friend..
The streets of Nairobi are alive again.. It’s Monday morning. The life on the streets isn’t a representation whatsoever of the life in the humans bringing life to the streets..
We are all tired from the weekend. We are dead and sleepy inside. All we want is to crawl back to bed and just sleep our worries away..
I wish life was that easy, but it isn’t.
Someone hitting our shoulders as they pass by or a pickpocket trying to get away with our phones is what reminds us to wake up..
That life is still on. A cup of coffee from either Java House or a five shillings MacCoffee sachet brings us back to life.
Morning people.. Ugh. We definitely want to murder these ones. Who is chatty on a freaking Monday morning?
The weekend is gone, we have to live through Monday and the other 10 days of the week before we get to Friday.
Keep strong my people.. The hustle continues..
Lately, I’ve become quieter.. There’s something that’s aging in me and I’ve realized being quiet got its perks. I get to observe more.. I get to hear more.. I get to wonder more..
I just stare at people and observe.. Humans inflict pain on each other knowingly.. People will just sit and plan someone’s ruin.. Just like that.
I feel lost in this world. I wonder, think and try to reason it out.. I come up with nothing. Causing anybody pain knowingly is inexcusable.. Somehow though, humans do no get it.
Am lost than i was years ago.. Maybe because then i had no idea what goes on in this life.. Or i was ignorant.. Or i was in denial..
In this life, i do agree pain is inevitable.. But shouldn’t we wait until nature sends the pain.. Like death? Must we be a part of it?
Humans are the most complicated things i ever ran into.. It’s part of life but y’all scare me.. Do we ever sit and wonder how we are affecting others with our actions or words?
I will probably never find out.. Lemme just get through this life.. Hopefully avoid causing people pain and hopefully too be kind to one soul in this world..
Have a kind and considerate week. Think through everything and don’t be selfish..
It has been another year… Yes i turned 105 years and I’ve been having as more thoughts than my years. Most the times it’s a blur.. I’d love to say living to the maximum, but no.. Not even close.
It’s just the days going by.. I am paving my own way in my mind but in reality i just look and feel lost.
It’s a familiar feeling. I’ve come to terms with the fact that maybe I’ll always be a restless soul.. Maybe I’ll just be that person who sits on the ocean side, watching the waves come and go.. Maybe I’ll always be that person who looks into the ocean and feel a longing to get lost into it.. Maybe..
I’ve also thought of roaming the world.. But then how do you do that… Damn.. I gotta earn every penny that i spend.. I don’t feel any pinch whatsoever.. That feeling of being on the road.. With just a bag that got sandals and just a dera in them is worth every dime.. Maybe i will always be that person that the road spells for freedom.. Maybe I’ll always be that restless soul.. Or maybe one day I’ll find home.. Wherever.. I dunno.
Anyway.. I missed this site as always.. ❤️