That girl Diana

I am feeling super lazy and my friend Ann has to drag me out of bed literally. Today we are going to visit a rescue center for girls somewhere in ukambani. This is a good course you must think. To me though, I don’t feel so. I have been saving up my little allowance by sticking to vegetables and disciplining myself to live below a dollar for the entire semester and now my friends want me to travel which will consume my entire savings. My hands are tied because in the previous semester I kept yapping of how much I liked kids and my friend is using this statement against me. ‘ you said you like kids. Now imagine girls who are not mature who have been rescued. You might mentor one girl. At least one’.

I am sulking inside as we walk towards bus station because my bank account now reads almost bankrupt. The weather gods are on our side and it isn’t drizzling like it was yesterday morning.  We are to meet another group of people and in my mind I have neat people who are rich and just want to help out. What shocks me first is the noise in the bus they are in. I like my silence very much and the idea of being on the road for more than three hours in such a bus makes me wanna weep like a little child.  Luckily we can’t all fit into that bus and we have to get a 14 seaters p.s.v..
Three hours is a short time and when we alight at a small town to contribute some cash for shopping, I feel ashamed for not wanting to visit the center.  The people in the bus have one thing in common; they were either brought up in such centers, children’s home or have been to both. They talk about it freely and the way they talk about the people who encouraged them makes me feel that I made the right choice. Before we get into the center, they take time to thank the university team and they say we might encourage someone.

Once in, we get into a big hall and are mixed up with the girls. Every girl wants more attention than one can give and I just want to ran out. This girl who is all composed appears and says hey. She is the time keeper here. She heads the entertainment and the way she carries herself makes me feel insufficient. She sits next to me and pours some popcorns on my back and I feel shocked because I don’t know how to react.

I try to get her but then she dodges me quite easily thanks to my weight and laziness. I keep watching her and pretend I forgot until she sits next to me. I get her easily and mess up her hair with crushed popcorn. When she remarks, it’s with weird Swahili dialect and  I ask her where she is from. When she says Uganda, my heart goes out to her. She is braver than me though and easily talks of how challenging it was for her to adapt in a Kenyan rescue center with no knowledge in Swahili the national language.

I ask her why she is here and she tells me a sad story of being married off to an old man and she actually manages to make fun of that man and I can’t help laughing. How can she be so strong?? She asks me thousands of questions on campus life and she quietly remarks how lucky I am when I tell her about my hobbies. I never counted myself lucky ever before but now I did.

Time flies fast and it’s already time to hit the road. She gives me a big hug and makes me promise to call her or visit again. She has a great scarf and when I suggest we trade, she is happy to and refers to me as sister. I just got one more sister and her name is Diana. I smile sadly not knowing if I would make it to visit her and as we walk out of the hall, I promise myself that I would go back and see her.

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SHIT HAPPENS.

That is one great story. I love it

Kelvin Karomo

The memories of that night supersede any other I have in my whole life. That night alone had such a huge impact in my life than any other event I have been through. I barely remember the day’s event and it was my virgin appearance in our college rugby team. It was a dream come true, a dream I wish never happened and maybe that night wouldn’t have gone the way it went. My parents always warned me against the game, saying it had bad influence on me and it made me lose focus on what’s important. Being young and wild I brushed their warning saying it’s only but just a game nothing more. This now I highly regret, what had they said about wishes? They should come up with something for regrets something like if regrets were a cure, the HIV positive guys would get cured. Yes I said…

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Stranded

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Lucky in a track

It is around 5 p.m. in machakos Kenya and all the teams are done with their games. Most of us are starving yet we can’t do anything about it. The racquet games ladies are exhausted because apart from playing against several teams and winning, the organizers had refused to hand us the trophy simply because our games tutor is nowhere to be found. We actually created a scene to get the badminton trophy before some other university with fake results claimed it.

Apart from being hungry, we have a student with a broken nose and we are sleepy. We have a netball player who we had to borrow for pads from other students in the University we are in which has a funny name. Now you are wondering how disorganised we are but actually, stop judging us. It all started yesterday when we were dropped in a strange town at around 11p.m and we didn’t know that our tutor is a backstabbing son of a goat. The rooms he was to book for us, he had allowed them to be taken and didn’t say a word about it. When we were dropped we thought we were just going out to eat then go to rooms. When we assembled at the bus, the driver told us to hurriedly pick our stuff he wants to go and sleep. Our tutor had walked out on us. We pick our bags and start walking up and down in a strange town asking for rooms and immediately the residents realised we were new. Weird guys started following us with suggestions that we go and sleep at their houses. Mark you, this is the University ladies team that I am with and when twelve a.m. finds us out, I am sure we were going to sleep out and miss out the games. Being imaginative, I also think that my parents will be called when my dead body is found and they will be shocked because they think I am safe in my small campus room in Nairobi.
We walk for another few minutes and we finally find some empty rooms. That was lucky of us but we are so many of us ,so to fit into the rooms, we have to sleep four people in the same bed. When morning came, I am more tired than I was when we went to bed.

This morning we had an intense quarrel with the tutor and he almost slapped one of us. When we parted ways to our games venues, he was really mad  at  us and we threatened to lose every game we played but then we are too proud. Come lunchtime, our bus which had all our supplies and bags was gone. We went back to our venues hungry and scorched by the sun, sleepy and tired. Now it is five. I am sleepy and hungry. The sun is gone and the rain is threatening. The gods are against us. We have no money. I am in my sketchy sport skirt and so are all the other ladies. We have no sweaters or anything. When the rains start pouring, the bus appears and we are all too beat to even talk.

When we settle in and hope we are setting off to Nairobi, we realize our tutor is drunk. The driver, is even more drunk. We have to spend another night in this God forsaken town.

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Dear guys,

I know you know I don’t like you much and yet I hope to find a good one amongst you. You know I would rather you speak the truth rather than waste my time listening to crap that some of you think will impress a girl. Well, some of you I must give credit because you appreciate women and respect them ;yet some of you continually insult us thinking that you are a gift to women.

I am not known as a party pooper but I will tell you to get over yourself. Women are no longer stupid, we have evolved very much. We know when you are trying to fool us and sometimes it doesn’t take that long to realize you are after our bodies. I would highly appreciate if you simply came up to me and said you like my body, because then I will be kind enough to say thank you and walk away with my head high but the crap of calling a woman up and saying you love them because you of her physicality is an insult and it does make me wonder where your dictionary went wrong in differentiating between love and lust. I am a good Christian and love doesn’t come easy. I am a woman and I know when I am being taken for a fool. Don’t try to pull that I love you joke on me. It is irritating and it will bounce back right into your face. Go compose a better approach. Men I hope we have a deal here. My Swahili says ‘ tuheshimiane’ [let there be mutual respect].

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The stalker

As I write this, I feel darn insulted because apart from having a hectic day, I have realized that I have a more serious stalker than I would have imagined. To make it worse, I do not seem to remember ever meeting him anywhere.

Just a few days ago when I was jogging around the main campus football pitch a certain guy approached me. I thought it was someone who wanted a jogging partner so I didn’t even listen to what he was saying, I simply told him we can jog together and I didn’t mind. Being a pathetic listener, I didn’t pay much attention until he said something about Rose. You wonder why that caught my attention, well, Rose is my usual partner in jogging because I am too lazy to jog alone.
‘ what bout Rose??’ I ask.
‘ oh, you were not listening,’ he says getting annoyed and I wonder what I missed. He then goes ahead to say how he likes me and knows that I am good girl who he can take to his mother. Don’t take me wrong, being girl, that should be a compliment but I laugh out loud and that sets the guy off. He clearly has issues if he thinks he can take me to his mum. My friends say I will need a special guy sent for me because honestly I am spoiled, rude and utterly sarcastic. Not to mention that i like having my own way.

This guy though doesn’t understand why I am laughing and he goes ahead to say the many times he has watched me play. Now this is shocking not only because I  haven’t ever seen him but because he knows I play badminton and tennis which aren’t played in the same pitch. He knows I jog with Rose and he knows when I wasn’t in the field. He knows there were days I just went to watch my friends play tennis and when I went jogging with someone else apart from Rose. Surprisingly, he knows that I have a guy friend in the American football team who I have only spoken to twice.

When he is done talking, it is me who is worried. I want to go away from the field and not meet him again. When he finally says he saw me on a Sunday morning coming from another campus, I am sure I have a stalker in my hands. I only went to that campus once and I remember walking alone early in the morning towards central police and the way was clear. I saw nobody.

When this guy asks for my number, I hurriedly give it to him and walk away. I simply quit jogging and last week when I tried to resume guess who I first bumped into at the tennis pitch..

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Strong girl: learning to let go

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Let it go

When we get into relationships with someone that we really love, we give our all as women or girls and I say this from experience. We make sacrifices just to keep the relationship strong and at times lower our standards or even expectations just to keep the relationship going. When most guys have the girl’s heart, just a few will appreciate while others will take advantage of that.

In the book Nights of Rains and Stars, a character named Fiona stands up for her boyfriend, goes against her parents will all in the name of defending her love, Shane. When she falls pregnant with his baby, she breaks news to him when he isn’t as sober and he hits her leading to her fall and she looses the baby. You would imagine she will walk away but she blames herself for breaking the news to him when he is drunk. This girl isn’t willing to let go of that guy and she even borrows money to bail him out of jail ( which he ended up in for hitting her). One may think that this is strange whereas it isn’t. Women make excuses for guys who hit them, who cheat on them, who disrespect them and stick around with the hope that the guy will someday change which I will assure them will never happen.

Some of these women have their esteem ruined and they think they can’t get any other guy interested so they hold on to the relationship.  Some of them do not want to start over and some of them do not want to face the reality that he picked another girl over her. Whatever the excuse, these women just want to stick around even when they know they are chasing the wind.

One of the best step in letting go is facing reality. Whatever it is, it happened and there no reversing it. Girls  should remind themselves that they deserve better, that they look great and any guy would be lucky to have them. They should keep looking their best so as compliments aren’t solely from the guy. In trying to let go, a girl should surround herself with friends who are supportive and family who makes them feel loved.  Letting go takes time and sometimes one will need a strong will not to call the guy or text so one should indulge in activities that they enjoy to keep away from the temptation. Sometimes one will need to convince themselves that the guy she was dating is a complete moron and that she was blind not to have noted it. Forgiving someone helps in letting go of the bad memories and holding on to the good memories.
Keep the distance if you know you will give in to visiting and take all the  time you need to build up your self esteem up again. Be patient with yourself and be strong a girl and learn to let go.

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Being a girl : reducing pain during periods

We all experience our periods and the pain or discomfort that is experienced isn’t equal. There are a few things that I do that I find very relieving
Taking a citric fruits like oranges or taking a cup of lemon water.
Taking a cup of warm chamomile is one of my best options
Exercise a few days before your ps and during your periods. This works really well.
When I am in pain I boil water, put it in a bucket and place my towel at the mouth of the bucket so that the steam warms it up. I then wrap the warm towel around my waist or place it on my back or stomach. The warm feeling is awesome.

That is my easy tip for going through periods. Enjoy being a girl

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She is enjoying being a girl!!! 🙂

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