Living my Wednesday

I wake up late…
I seriously don’t know whether to first take a shower breakfast..
But then food is important..

Surprisingly I am in super high moods.. I think someone drugged me in my sleep..

I miss my very ugly brother though.. I have to admit no matter how un _lookable he is.. if there is such a word.. or how stupid he is, I still miss him..
Maybe it’s because am a good hearted person..

Thinking of him, he texts me up and says he is home with mum. I tell him to say hi to her and I get this dumb text
‘ nimwambie ni nani?’
{That translates to ‘ who do I tell her it is?’ }

Seriously do I have to deal with this? How can one person be this dumb?  I am smiling as I leave the house. My mind is on how much fun my brother pokes at me and am happy..

I take a motorbike to the bus station and I love the speed.. the wind.. the breathlessness..
Am off to the crazy market..
I will definitely rub shoulders with so many people today.. time for business..

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Some road towards the market

Broken

In my mind I hit the shuttles against the wall..
With much energy..
Break darn shuttle! Break..
It keeps bouncing back to me…
As if it’s enjoying being hit against the wall..
Maybe a little bit like me… standing being hurt.. until..

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Drift dear mind… drift…
Something funny..
Like Dennis contesting family reports.. hmm.. 
A sad smile across my face.. maybe I could laugh..
Tears threaten…

Blink dear eyes.. blink…
No tears.. it aint worth crying for..
What’s the tears for? …
Darn this mind.. can’t you just freaking drift to something funny?

My stupid brother Sam.. yeah.. like him.. some funny ugly kid my mum got there…
How can one afford to be so ugly…
A smile finally..
He is maybe a little cute..
Maybe…
Especially in his purple shirt…

Purple.. damn it I hate purple….
I feel myself going to get a t_shirt.. from that guy..
I pull something soft.. purple.. just like my brother’s tshirt..
Just that it’s a woman’s clothe…
Cold… am cold..
I should have been hanging out with my ugly brother.

In love, unlike its true nature of selflessness, we all expect to be loved back…
Love is a gift.. free and most times not to those who deserve it

Valentine’s is finally here

So,  that weirdest day that people celebrate all over the world celebrate is here…
I do wish all of you a happy one.. filled with love and laughter..
(Hopefully no break ups)
Those guys planning to spend the day in church… well, we still want the red roses..
Be happy people

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I really do feel that happy..

My wishes

I do wish I could be free as a bird… free to fly wherever I can
To ride the waves of the sea till I get tired of
To feel the waves take me high up and then be with me even on low tides
To feel the wind blowing against me
Blowing any pains or disappointments
The taste of freedom…
Pure…
Oh how I wish… pure bliss

Then if I can’t turn into a bird,
Why can’t I get a chance to be on a comfortable bus.. that travels non stop..
Sitting by the window seat… the wind against my rough skin..
And keep moving…
To nowhere.. everywhere…
Go places and leave no traces… just the smile of the light girl with rough hair in a blue dress and a green bag?
😦
Oh how I wish…

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Okay… dudes aki

Today has been a super weird day.. mark the super

Keeping fitness in mind, I went shopping with a friend for sport shoes. The guy we met had different types of shoes and we went ahead to ask for sports shoes
‘ do you have sport shoes my size? ‘
‘ what’s your size sister?’
‘ seven brother’
I stress on the brother bit.
‘You just take white rubbers. Si hizo umeitishwa kwa barua?’
{ isn’t that what they asked for in the letter? }
What??
I just left.. and pulled my friend with me.
Every time a student is admitted to secondary school, a pair of white shoes is amongst the items..
Well, I know I look young but seriously.. that brother is blind..

Fast forward
My friend’s shop
We are busy talking to customers and we note some guy who is still on the phone and ain’t leaving.
My first thought is that he is a thief and we gonna get hurt..
Well, I have been held at gunpoint once and received a blow, so I really don’t like the idea.
I tell my friend that am going to leave the shop.
The guy draws closer and I feel myself tense..
My friend taps me on the shoulder and tells me to look out..
I think of guns really.
I raise my head and I wished I hadn’t..
All I want is to throw up…

The guy is smiling at us, phone on one hand and the other on his penis which is totally out and he is jerking off..

For a moment I think am going crazy…
Then the shock of hits me…
‘ Call up someone.. this guy ought not to be there’
I hear myself say before sinking below the counter so as not to see him looking at any of us.
I think am still traumatized

I am light, I am light… I am light, I am light..
I am not the mistakes that I have made,
or any other thing that caused me pain
I am not the pieces of a dream
I love peace..
I am light

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