Dragon sister

You probably think you know much about taming a dragon after watching ‘ how to tame a dragon ‘, but trust me you know absolutely nothing and can do nothing especially if the dragon is your sister. Well, she might not look exactly like one and she of course doesn’t fly but she definitely does spit fire when she is mad.

Allow me to describe my sister; she is younger than me and way beautiful than I will ever be. She has this great hair which is rare to my African origin and instead of letting it grow she keeps it short and continually makes fun of my kinky one. She has one dimple and is well built for her age and when she likes someone, she is all charming. Unluckily, she doesn’t like me that much. She also has this look of pure innocence, you remember the one dragons have when they aren’t disturbed?? Well, that one and most people will defend her if she puts it on even when she is on the wrong.

When we are for holidays, we have to share house chores and she doesn’t understand why I am the one giving out duties while she is freaking six years younger than me. She gives me this ‘ one day I will be older than you’ look and I enjoy it totally. My mum simply sits back and watches us.
My sister decides she will do whatever her chore is at her own time yet I want her to do this and get done with. She simply sits there despite that I asked her nicely to carry out her chore and am so mad at her.
I ran to mum fuming and tell her I will simply beat up my sister and my mum not wanting to take sides simply tells me
‘ go beat up a seventeen year old who is your sister.. funny. You will fight and please let me have my peace if you are beaten up. Don’t come complaining that you are older’
Whaat?? Is she supporting her? She must be the dragon mother.
I walk away. I don’t even know why I want my sister to do her chore that exact moment but please, she is supposed to obey.
I can’t confront her because I know I will end up being spit on real hot fire or she will simply sulk and do nothing about it,  so I simply quit.
I have totally given up when one of my classmates calls me and we talk for long. It’s a guy and since my sister does want to know my boyfriend, I walk immediately to her sounding excited

‘ Kui you got to wash the house. My boyfriend is coming over with a few friends’ .

I cross my fingers and wait for her reaction. She smiles and gets off her seat and starts washing the house. I won that one, I will deal with the consequences of lying but the house is already clean. 🙂

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Closing chapters

Community week had me visit Kawangware slums for a flowers planting in a certain small school. I don’t have many friends in the club that we went with and I didn’t bother to make any.
We worked hard and I enjoyed it having been born and raised in a farm. Everyone had friends and you know how crazy campuserians can get. They kept talking till I thought my head would burst. I noted I was concentrating too much on other people’s chats when some guy struck a conversation with me. Normally I am a pathetic listener and to cover it up, I nod and smile throughout the conversation and surprisingly people buy it until I nod at a question, then they realize I wasn’t paying much attention. This guy was interesting though and I surprised myself when I found out that I was actually listening. We talked about everything and nothing in particular; the stereotype of women’s name, family, sunset,  sunrise, blogging and what games we played. Hours flew by really fast and we were back to school really fast. I had made myself a friend.
The following day, we headed to another slum and I did meet my friend there. We didn’t talk as much and trust me I found myself putting on my listening act until the guy who was talking to me gave up and left. I sat back and observed people play and ran out to see the old train pass by the slum. It was overloaded since the fare is only a quarter of the bus fare from Nairobi.

As we left, the guy did catch up with me and I actually had someone I could listen to. It was on Friday and I had to go home instead of going back to school. As I alight from the school bus to catch another bus home, I discovered that my guy actually uses the same route as me. Instead of boarding a bus immediately, we decided to walk for some distance and talk. This guy is crazy and has lived way too much than his age and I find myself hanging on every word that he tells me. He is darn funny and jokingly says that he is going to take coffee for supper. Who does that? I board a bus at 8 p.m. which is a surprise to me. Time does fly.

The weekend drags itself by and when it’s up I go back to school. I am obviously eager to hang out with the new guy and we meet on Monday. We could hang around school then walk in town later, just that the lights go off and we decide to walk to town after all. What is usually a long walk is really short and we go ways anyway then chat later in the night. This was fun.

For the last one month, it has been hanging out and talking non stop. Laughing with and at him as he tells me a story on how he was hit on by a gay guy. Making fun of him saying that that gay guy thought he would make a superb wife then falling asleep after lunch. Walking in town with our friend Lydiah and watch them as they make fun of each other and listening to his romantic view of a relationship. This guy is a real sweetheart.
Today when we met, I am all excited that I am sitting my final exam in campus in a week’s time. He is also sitting an exam, just that it isn’t final. I am sad that this maybe the last hangout we will have maybe forever or in campus because the upcoming week will be busy and  after exams I will be leaving Nairobi and if the general service unit  accepts my cadet application,  I will be in the army for sometime. So today I feel like it’s the closing of a very interesting chapter and am sad about it but I will survive.

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Family time

My big brother is a nuisance and when he asked me to visit him today, I kept complaining to anybody who wanted to listen to me. I only put up with him because he is family and even if I changed my phone number, he would still track me down and make him visit him.

I don’t have much a choice in this because if  I try to say no, he blackmails me with that so beautiful kid he has and his charming wife.

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Who doesn’t want to hold such a kid anyway? To avoid the miserable long journey, I called my two younger brothers from their campus and convinced them to go visiting with me ( I may or may have not lied to them we were all summoned by our big brother).

I had to listen to them whine all the way about the upcoming exams but I also have upcoming exam so I asked them to give me a break which turned out worse because they started complaining of not taking lunch and trust me I wished I had my earphones with me.

We got there a bit late and it turned out to be such an amazing time that am thinking I will visit after exams.
Just a few photos of the family time

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To my utterly stupid brother

My brother recently got married. I don’t know whether it’s legal or maybe soon he will be taken in for abduction but on the brighter side I hope that the poor girl is above eighteen. In my culture, once you move in with your boyfriend in the suburban areas, you are considered married and parents then have to meet and discuss what will follow. Now that is how my brother got married.

My brother is utterly stupid and how he managed to get that girl to move in with him I don’t know. He is a great guy though who thinks of himself way handsome than he really is and constantly mocks me on my looks whereas I know am better looking.
He was very happy and he sent me the photos of the couple and being awesome I sent him this great congratulatory message

‘ wow! Sam am so happy for you. Can you please tell mum that you got yourself a girl so that she can stop praying and worrying that you might die single or she might have to pay me to find you a wife.
Congratulations anyway and this would the wrong time to tell me that one of your friends found you that girl and brought her to your house. ‘.

My brother though is such an ingrate and I don’t even know why I tried being nice to him. Just to confirm that, this is what I got back

‘ really sister? We both know who the family is worried about. Mum wouldn’t stop fasting and I had to join in so that you get a guy who has poor eyesight to marry you so he wouldn’t note how ugly you are. ‘
There.. who wants such a brother?. Anyway, I will let this one pass and just wish my stupid brother the best. That he may always fight to stay and not to let go of that amazing woman who captured his heart. That he may find happiness and find it in abundance. That the Lord may bless them and grant them the desires of their heart.

To my brother, congratulations and I still hate you.
Btw, I will be there anytime to help with what might make you guys work.

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Dear diary

Friday evening
My roommate just left looking amazing with very strong perfume.
My friends are all held up and the hall is almost empty.
My light is switched off and all I have is my phone and my thoughts.
I would go to the rooftop to watch the city but then I am not in the mood.
I would go out and maybe have some fast food but then I don’t want to be all alone in the city where everybody isn’t alone
Where everybody has that smell of friday on them, that stupid grin that the weekend has finally kicked off.
I don’t want to sound pathetic but then I am. The only invitations I got are from people I would rather not hang around with because you see dear diary, I don’t drain my fears in beer, wine, rum or the cheap campus liquor that they do. I don’t derive my happiness from that either and my weekend is perfect without any alcohol.
I know I get the advice that I should have fun when in campus but then dear diary, is getting drunk fun? I don’t want to wake up with the stench of cheap liquor on me, neither do I want to wake up with a throbbing headache.
Seriously dear diary, I really really don’t want to wake in the same bed with a guy I know nothing about. I don’t want to undress before people in my stupor then hide my face for the rest of the week. You remember the girl Julie who did that, right?
So dear diary, you are the only friend I have today and maybe it’s time I found myself a good movie and fall asleep on you before the movie ends.
Goodnight dear diary.

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If we sent burial invitations

It’s really annoying when a relative complains that they had to hear from other people that someone in your family died whereas it’s supposed to be a family member to inform them.
I know it really hurts to find out through rumors that someone close to you died but well, live with it. It’s not that you are hated or people have something against you it’s just that we don’t send burial invitations.
The moment we get the news, all the close relatives panic and it’s only the few strong ones who will have the guts and energy to inform people and you have to agree with me, they don’t know every family member plus they aren’t in their right mind. It could be also that not many people want to deal with your drama or reactions and emotions once you hear the news. You maybe really fragile and maybe people want you to hear the rumor first so that when you hear the news first you will kind of be prepared.
Talking of reactions and emotions, trust me I will be the last person to break any sad news to my mum. Her reaction will kill you in place of the bad news.
What would we write if we sent out burial invitations? This is my ideal sample
Dear relative
I hope you are well.
We are sorry to inform you that Winfred passed on on … date
We would be glad if you availed yourself for her final send off in… place.
Be strong. The Lord giveth and the Lord hath taken away.
               Signature.
And now everybody would live in fear of opening cards or mail.

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My pathetic life

It’s expected that when you get to my age, you have either a stable boyfriend or at least you are seeing someone who has potential according to society’s standards.
Now I think it’s high time we called my mum and tell her that her daughter is clearing campus in a month’s time and she feels
Younger than she is
She is seeing no guy and most
Of her dates she runs away literally from the guys
Just yesterday she was freaking
Out after a guy thought she could make a good wife
It’s high time she was informed that her precious daughter hasn’t held on to any relationship for more than two months for a very long time
And she thinks it’s a waste of time to stay in a relationship for more than one year
She hoped that a guy she really liked would make an effort to get in a relationship just that he didn’t.
She hoped that a guy she really didn’t like would go away just that he keeps reappearing.
What kind of love life is this now?? I actually think it doesn’t deserve that name. Sometimes when my parents are so worried that I might be out with the wrong guy, I can’t help but laugh just imagining how shocked they would be if they realized that their crazy daughter spends 80% of her free weekend playing badminton or tennis and the remainder sleeping.
They would really feel worried to know that I am not feeling like committing to any guy soon and I am hoping to maybe join the general service unit cadets if they don’t need me to run. Now that is something they don’t need to know.
They would be so mad if they knew instead of reading for my exam, I am reading abnormal psychology and enjoying it immensely.
That’s kind of the crappy life I am in right now.. is there anything like almost mid twenties life crisis? I think that’s what I am suffering from

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My hustles

Waking up isn’t one of my strengths especially when I sleep past midnight
I suddenly wake up and it’s already 9 a.m. and I could have sworn someone cut short my night
I have to be in class by 11 which would have been easy if I was in my small campus room but I am not
I rush to take breakfast, take a shower, brush my teeth all in like forty minutes and rush out to catch a matatu. One of those
That breaks all traffic rules so that
I can be in school in time
My shoes are muddy and almost
One of the straps is almost cut
Because it’s muddy and in
My rush I had forgotten it rained yesterday in the evening
I get in the mat and loud music takes me back to when I used
To commute to school
I used to love it. Partially sleepy Nairobians, the mixture of perfumes and smoke
Some stale some fresh
I used to love watching people fall asleep immediately they sat on the bus seats
I used to smile at people who in their rush forgot their bus fare
And how the ruthless conductors
Handled them.
Call me crazy but I used to love
Getting in a row when the guy
Collecting fare couldn’t get my change/ balance
The music in these buses
The breeze when I sat by the window
The driver taking all the wrong routes to avoid traffic
And finally getting to school late
So the three hours lecture looked shorter
I don’t know why I picked a room in campus but I loved the hustle everyday.

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Proudly black

You see, it’s alright when a white guy clutches their bag tight when I pass by ’cause I am black
It’s alright when a white guy looks at a translator when he wants to talk to me ’cause I am black
It’s alright when he says I am trying to steal from him when I am selling anything to him cause I am black
It’s alright when that Indian guy calls my sports tutor to confirm I am a student even when I have my students id cause I am black
It’s okay when Chinese guy looks at me and turns away cause I am black
It’s okay when he explains in his broken English the basics in simple jobs cause I am black
It’s even okay when the black guy will serve the white, the Asian, the Chinese first because I am black
It’s okay if I take a longer queue because I am black
I am black and I love it.
I am black and I don’t regret it
I am black and you react the way you want because I am black, I don’t really care
However, it’s not okay to put a curfew in a Chinese restaurant in my black country
It’s not okay when I can’t be anywhere I want in my black country
It’s not okay when you insult me because I am black
It’s not okay to think because I am black I am going to take a direct insult
I will let the minors pass but don’t dare turn to me, because you see my friend, white, Chinese, Asian or whatever I am not dumb, neither am I emotionless
Don’t dare think you are any superior, feel free to be in my country
But don’t poke my nose, let there be mutual respect
And a little reminder my friend, beneath that white skin, is blood as it’s beneath my black skin

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