One cent on marriages

My head hurts and I am tired… Mentally.. I am tired of listening to humans.. People ruining each other.. It is like people are not getting married anymore. They are warring against each other..

I once thought marriage is for people who loved each other… making commitment to each other.. To love and to hold.. For better for worse.. Nowadays there is zero need to make those vows.. You are gonna break them anyway…

‘Don’t pick up any new behaviour you can’t keep up just to please your partner.. Eventually, you will start hating that behaviour.. or actions.. Then you will start associating it with your partner.. You will eventually start hating him/her..’ This came from someone i just met..

I know it is true.. I also don’t know how to make people especially women to stop doing it.. Men either…
Don’t act like you love doing laundry if you don’t.. Don’t act caring and romantic if you aren’t.. Don’t start something that you cannot keep up in the marriage..

The rise on divorce rates in Kenya is shocking and i have no idea how it would be curbed unless those getting married take it upon themselves to work on their marriages.. I can only guess it is work that requires relentless energy.. If one person stops working on their side, then it is doomed to fail..

I’d say if you are too proud, too arrogant, too egoistic to say you are sorry, just stay single.. If you are toxic; as we know ourselves better, don’t ruin someones life..
But then humans are selfish.. We only think of what works for us, our pride.. I want this and that.. Do we ever sit to ponder on what we have to offer the other person ?

I wish each of us healing.. So we can’t take our shit to the other people, our kids and definitely to the world.. If we worked on ourselves, then it would be a better world.. and definitely good marriages..

But what do i know.. I will keep listening.. I will keep watching as people sabotage each other.. I will smile at the few good ones who are working daily to make it work.. My heart will break for those who can’t break the vicious cycle of going back.. but i will hold my peace..

Keep safe.

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