‘Life is shitty’ I think to myself.. am partially awake and I am in a complaining mood. I want to talk to a stranger then kill them.. I could whine for the entire day.. I want to get into a fight.. I want to be everything that I was taught not to be…
I stretch my hand to pick a book. You know what? Maybe John Grisham’s boring crap will bore me to death.. maybe Danielle Steele will make me suicidal again… I pause thinking what Torey Haden would do to me… make me feel sadder?
I pull out something and guess what… someone’s eulogy.. a girl. She was born in 1986.. Things flash in my mind and I feel like somebody who will never know how to be grateful . Am unappreciative.. an ingrate..
Well, before you tell me anything, hear me out..
The mother of this girl..
She has her grandkids staying with her. The mother of the kids died thanks to HIV.. Their father? You heard of the career bastards who don’t die quick? That’s him.. He drinks himself stupid.. insults his mother at the slightest chance he gets. When I came to this place and heard him, I wanted him hauled into a police cell.. but well, his mother walked past him with her can of porridge, her head bowed low.. I watched her blink back tears as she asked us if we would buy from her.. That’s how she supports those kids.
Nothing felt sadder..
I asked about her..
‘Her husband died.. she supports her son’s kids. She tries. Her daughter, a mother of two is unwell. A good kid’
I went home and hoped her daughter would get well… too much for hopes. Soils to soils.. the pastor did say those words.. Felt like a damn insult..
Sadness for her.. she got an additional of two to feed..
I don’t know if to weep for her or not.. sometimes life decides we haven’t had enough.. but for some people.. well, I wouldn’t say anything, for am controller of nothing I am but surely complaining about my life is a sure dumb move..
I rise from my seat.. Sadness tagging my heart.. Friday it is.. have a blessed one folks.. 😦