Honestly in this life, I need to do two things.
1. Buy headphones
2. Convince people Sam is not my brother..

Well, music is soul food.. I need it.. desperately.

You can all understand my reason with Sam.. he is too ugly to be my brother and honestly I can’t put up with him any longer since he got married.
Just the other day he sent me a message that requires me to forward to all good-looking people in my contact list. Well, honesty is the best policy so I asked him

‘Are you waiting for me to forward you this?’

‘Yes’
He texted back.

‘But sweetheart I don’t want to lie.. how many times have we talked about your looks? You aren’t good looking. Accept it’
I text back feeling angry over the fact that he will never stop thinking he is good looking. It’s annoying and sad at the same time. He definitely has over esteem issues.
Thinking am done with him, I resume my tummy exercises as I listen to ‘Khona’.

My phone lights and I know I have a message. Well, a good looking girl could only hope.. maybe it’s someone interesting. When I open it and see it’s from Sam, I make up my mind… I need another brother.

‘Winnie sweetheart, you keep yapping of your looks yet you are single. Guess who is married? That might imply I look better..

Oh no.. this is hitting below the belt.. I would reply and say my staying single is a valid life choice but wait.. to who? I think of a smart come back but am not lucky..
If only Sam could have taken an ugly wife… I would have been happy. Now she is darn pretty and got a good brain..
Why woman, why did you agree to this?

‘Shut up. And hope the kids take up their mother’s and auntie Winnie’s good looks. Especially the girls’
I text back…

‘Oh no.. hopefully they look like me, I don’t want old unmarried daughters’
Is the reply I get.

Honestly I don’t need a brother.. I am a few years shy of 30 yet I feel 500 hundred years.. who wants a brother? We could trade with headphones.. honestly

Advertisements