Mr Politician

Yo man… eer.. I mean Honourable member.
It’s been long sir. So long. 2012? Right?

I started with voter registration. I was so excited. It was my first election…

You urged.. you pleaded. You appeared. Promises.. Roads, power, railway, funds.. development..

In kindness of my heart, I woke up at 5 a.m.. I was going to vote change. So I left. 13 hours later, I returned home. This country, my motherland, my county, my ward was gonna develop. You said it after all. You supported Mr president..

He was gonna slay giants….
Corruption, Health sector, education… 

It has been 4 years.

Well done Mr Politician.
We have improved. Our position in corruption as a country has tremendously improved. We are competing for the most corrupt..

Look at our health sector sir. Aren’t you impressed?? Well, I am. Doctors haven’t touched their coats. Those that can’t afford private hospitals are dying..

But then sir, ain’t it a good thing? The more that die, the better for us as a country, right? We will have more resources..

Well, about education… The dons have abandoned the Regular programme. Did I tell you my mum is a farmer? She can barely afford regular programme. But didn’t your daughter fly to Cambridge? No? She is in Daystar??
Oh… you meant United States International University??
Wow… well, it’s good now my brother is out of the public University of Nairobi.. your daughter will shine.

Now though sir, it’s a bit okay with me if you want me to rise up early, register as a voter…
Come August, I will fight all those that aren’t of my tribe.. I will fight my fellow farmers whose sons and daughters are in the University of Nairobi.
I will fight those that are dying with me as we wait for the doctors to get paid and go back to work.

I have no intention of mentioning the campaign money that’s being spent. I swear on my grandmother’s grave not to ponder if voter registration is more important than health..

I will also bite my tongue if I dare to remind you the only thing that has improved in this country is the level of corruption.. well, two things.. and your sagging belly..

I will register as a voter sir. I promise I will rise early to vote you in. I promise to fight those not of my tribe.  Those that can keep your from maintaining your belly fat.. I promise sir.. I promise.

But can you please do something? That footbridge that your campaign vehicles broke, can you at least not pass there again??


3 Replies to “Mr Politician”

  1. It’s more like you took the words out of me cos it isn’t any different down here in Nigeria. The British PM, David Cameroon once said Nigeria is “fantastically corrupt” and sad as it is, he is right. Though I don’t hate Politics, by I detest the system that keeps recycling bad eggs.

    Liked by 1 person

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