What do you mean pregnant?

9:00 am
I am semi awake. My room seems to move around despite that am  on the bed. My stomach feels queasy. I can’t stand this feeling. I drag myself towards the hospital.

‘What’s up?’

‘I feel dizzy. I can’t stomach any smell. I am throwing up like crazy.
I have a dull stomach pains and…

‘When is the last time you had you periods?’

‘One week ago’

‘You could be pregnant’

‘Am not pregnant’

‘ How do you know?’

‘Because I freaking know  how people get pregnant and I haven’t exposed myself!!’ I say in my head

‘What did you say?’
‘I said am sure am not pregnant’

‘Am sending you to the lab anyway’

‘Please.. am not pregnant. Don’t waste my time. I haven’t eaten for days’
‘What does that have to do with you not being pregnant? You ladies will just learn how to protect yourselves or abstain. Don’t come here in denial’

‘Fool’ I hiss

‘If you must know doctor, am not having sex with anyone’

‘Those are pregnancy symptoms.. now, don’t waste my time. Get to the lab and bring me results. Next!’

Did I just get dismissed. I feel weak from hunger I bet. Everything makes me nauseous.

3 hours later

‘You are not pregnant’

‘You are an idiot’
I mutter just loud enough for him to hear.

‘ I think what you have is…. ‘

I couldn’t resist.
Time to find another hospital.


Date: 22/12
16 years ago
Somewhere on the slopes of Nyandarua
Time 10 a.m

Your oldest son was harassing us to doing whatever he wants so that we could have a bite of meat before you got home. Earlier mum had left to pick you up. You would be home.
The sound of the vehicle that usually dropped you home got us on our heels. Our dogs Tatty and Fudgie before us. Nothing would be better than having you home finally.

At the sight of all of us, mum lost energy. She sat. Her best friend turned away. We froze on our tracks.
You should have been permitted to go home from the hospital that Friday.
Just that you went home. Just not on earth.

16 years later

How are you? I do wish we could be allowed once in every 5 years visit to heaven. Maybe this year could have been my turn. I could have brought photos… no.. albums.
Do you know you are a grandfather now?? Don’t get excited.. not me. Your very notorious son. The one who took all your looks.. him… The kids are darn cute.

Lemme gossip a bit. You remember your ugly son? Yes.. exactly.. Sam. The one who we all love.. apparently he got married. How he got a wife, am still amazed. Maybe when I come to heaven, we will brain storm about it.  I must say, girls are really strange.
Your two sons are graduating soon and I wish you could be there to watch it. Your wife however will be there. She is so proud of us. I have never seen anyone more proud.

Now, your daughter cleared form four and I will need you to tell me between you and mum, who had good brains for everything but books?? I will say you. Because you ain’t nearby. If I dare say mum and she gets a wind of it, I might die sooner than I want..
I always do wonder if she was trained in the army before getting married.. Well, what I was saying was, your other daughter picked that.. She is too beautiful for her own good though. She might get married before me..
Your last born son is okay. He has turned so black that we have to work hard to see him.. the height.. he is towering above all of us. Can you imagine that?? He is doing well in school and will clear next year..
Now to the one you never got to see.. she is a spoilt brat. We love her but I must confess killing her has crossed minds in that house.. she is soo determined to get everyone annoyed. She is shining in school..

Me?? Do you remember my face? Right now if I dared jump on your back as I did in the days, it would probably break. I haven’t done much with myself but most times I find myself staring into far places or distance or nothing feeling the breeze and wishing you were here. I know it’s dumb but I still think one day you will come back.
Things go wrong at times and though God has been a good father, I can’t stop myself.
I listen to lots of music, sit or walk alone and wish ghosts were real. Maybe we would have talked. I didn’t want you to leave but I didn’t have a choice and neither did you.

I was also to complain about guys in our age group. Oh dad.. their manners are lacking. They laugh and raise their hands for a hi 5. They by no means know how to behave. They talk non-stop and brag about everything and nothing. They gossip worse than women. I simply can’t stand it…

I wish you were here.. really.
Keep resting in peace.
Lot’s of love.

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