I hope none of the people who read this post think am raised in a city… wrong thoughts.
I am a villager and a good villager.

Christmas is usually one of those long awaited days in my village. Well, we don’t have santa that we are waiting for yet we still wait for it for different reasons.

Christmas is the day that you can sleep all you want especially if you ain’t cooking. Normally, we villagers don’t have much time to sleep even on Sundays. We got cows to feed, we got church to attend.

Food. I still don’t know how this isn’t number 1.
Don’t get me wrong, we do have food in the village.  But come Christmas..
Chapati is a must. Lot’s of meat unless those times when we are awfully broke becausr milk prices and potato prices are so low and fees is still needed in January. Why buy meat when we can pay fees with the money?

As a Kikuyu though, one meal is sacred. That stew that got meat, peas, carrots, meat and POTATOES in it. Added is lots of water. Don’t annoy us by not making that for us.

I don’t know why else we love Christmas (apart from Christians who know the real meaning) because men drink themselves stupid. Some women too.
The local joint is flooding during that time and come evening we can hear our neighbor shout
‘My name is Ndegwa. This is my corner’..
Everything is wrong with his corner. Broken fence, poorly maintained crops and everything else.

Now, for those people who live in the city and are of marriage able age, when they come to my village for Christmas, they must keep explaining to the extended family why they aren’t married yet..

Aunties will be in one place then call you
‘You Winnie’

Yes auntie.
Come here..

That’s when you know trouble is brewing.
‘So, young lady, you look beautiful’ the chosen spokeswoman will say. They all will nod in agreement.  

‘Thank you’
Winnie will say resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

‘So, in Nairobi.. How are the young men?’

‘Auntie you know they are ill mannered. They just don’t know how to treat a woman..’

‘So Winnie, if the men in the city are so bad, why don’t you pick one from here.. you remember Kamau son of Wanyoike.. He lives in town.’
She will suggest.
Winnie will resist the urge to tell them he is a tout in one of the notorious buses in Nairobi. That everyday she sees him, he has a bottle of some brew and a bunch of miraa. His mouth looks like one of a goat.
How he remains clean during the  Christmas season is a miracle

Bullying will continue.
But as for me as one of the villagers. It’s already evening. Christmas is over. I got very hungry cows to feed.