Let’s start by saying I do love my people and whatever crazy things they do. However, when you want to get married to that brown babe, brace yourself brother, we don’t come easy. First, most of us like it when we marry within our tribe but then, we make a few changes here and there.

You meet the girl. She is beautiful, she is business oriented. She likes you and she tries to cook well. ( we are the worst cooks apparently. We mix up generally anything and call it a meal )

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In reality pilau is

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You fall in love. You know absolutely nothing about her custom yet you want marriage. You are off to visit her home. This is what you should expect
A meal
We are generous people. We give meals to visitors in plenty. You won’t miss our chapatis, meat, rice and of course potatoes. Potatoes are sacred to us. No single meal goes without them. Don’t raise your hopes on how well cooked they should be. You will get disappointed. If you are lucky though, you might get good food. That’s rare though.
The stew might be a mixture ofย  potatoes, peas, meat and water. The stupid peas will be floating on the soup. They are your prospective in laws. Be kind and say they cook well. We love complements.
Curiosity
We want to know who is taking our daughter. Several questions will be asked. Be very cautious of what you say. Don’t talk too much. Men are expected to be wise. Wise people don’t talk too much. It would be your advantage if you have a business. That will keep the conversation flowing and prevent awkward silence. Don’t brag about it. Almost all kikuyus are modest. No-one is interested in knowing what you have been donating everyday. Just be very careful.

What do we expect from you and your people
If you bring someone with you, let they be decent. If it’s a woman, let her have some basket and a few goods in there to offer the family. Her basket wouldn’t go back empty. We will definitely have something to offer back
Respect
Just bring all the respect you ever had..

This is the first visit, we don’t expect much from the event.. Dowry negotiations will be ongoing and we will be waiting for you to bring dowry. That’s when you should be praying the family your babe is from, is sane. If it is insane, well… your bad luck bro.

always winnie

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