I am most likely the best sadist you will ever meet and i realized even when i watch a movie, happy endings  bore me. I constantly find myself praying that the bad guy survived in some way and is watching the good guy with an evil grin like the first season of stalker or he might even catch up with them just like in Texas Chainsaw massacre.. Sick, right? Come on, they are all just acting!! What am trying to say is, don’t take these signs seriously because they are from me.

A guy who wants a girl will go after her at all costs and when they are finally in a relationship and he wants out, there are of course so many red signs.. take me for instance

Friday evening.

I glance at my phone. No nothing. No calls. No texts. I cant even believe it is Friday and i have received no calls. I try to ignore my phone. I finally give in

‘ hey. How are you?’

‘ I am fine Winnie. Can i please call you back? I am a bit stuck up right now’

i want to hit my phone but wait, i bought it on my hard saved up money. I place it carefully on my pillow.

Hours pass by. Friday goes and bam.. Saturday finds me sulking. I know i might get an apology and maybe lunch out.
I am mistaken. I take lunch at home, change into my sports attire and head out to Kenya Science Indoor arena. Life goes on anyway.

I play and laugh with friends and forget my phone. At around 8.00p.m, I am ready to go home. I want to call my mum and tell her i am starving when i realize i have three missed calls. I call back


‘Where were you?’

‘ Kenya Science’

‘ I will pick you up’

‘ No. I already told you i will not sleep out. It is my parents’ house and they deserve at least a little respect. Not a daughter who sleeps out on impulse’

‘ Fine’

‘ I will see you kesho after church’ ( Kesho means tomorrow)


I make a note to myself to go for 8.00 a.m service so i can have sufficient time. I text him

‘ will be out of church by 10. Maybe we can go house hunting if you want’

‘ fine. i will call you around then. Latest 11’

Sunday 7.00 a.m

I am smiling as i leave the house.

The sermon is amazing and i feel happy to have taken that time to go to church. I say hey to several friends. I sit on  the WiFi zone and start updating my apps.

I text ‘ I am out of church’

I wait for a reply.

One hour goes. I start watching Britain got talent 2015 and adore the guy with a talking dog. The second hour. I get bored of watching ‘ Britain got talent 2015’ and decide to go home.  My friend Davie calls

‘ my dear, we are having nyamchom. Where are you?’ (nyamchom is nyama choma i.e roasted meat)

‘Text me directions.. I am starving’

I text boyfriend

‘Where are you?’

No reply.

I take a bus and head out. Time to eat.

It is fun and i could have forgotten i had my phone. But i feel insulted.

People order drinks and i don’t order anything. I take soft drinks and whatever they have here is nothing near soft. My friend pulls me aside and we talk for a while.

4.00 p.m

I am so full and i want to take a nap. I bid the semi drunk guys bye and head home.  Just before i get home, my phone rings. i look at it and say a dumb prayer as usual

‘ please let it be a logic explanation’


‘ hey. where are you?’

‘ I am on my way home.’

‘ You already left?’

I press my lips together to avoid screaming.  I remain quiet.

‘What is wrong with you? Yesterday you didn’t want to be at my place, now you already left. sometimes i wish you could act a bit more mature!!’

I press my lips together so much that it hurts. In my mind i am questioning God ‘Dear Lord, is this inborn stupidity or blindness?’

I am surprised i managed to keep quiet. I think i am finally growing up.

I get home and get into bed. I just want to sleep.

vibration wakes me up and i reach out to pick my phone.


‘Are you mad at me?’

‘ I am just sleepy right now.’

‘ I couldn’t make it to town. My brother hit someone’s car and we were at the police station all day’

‘ Did you have your phone?’

‘ Yes.’

‘ Why didn’t you text or call instead of keeping waiting?’


‘Forget today. What happened to calling me back on Friday?’

No answer.

‘ Look, i could start counting so many things you have done in the recent past that have left me feeling bad. Plus you have referred to me as immature for the third time. Every time you make a mistake you blame it on me. I might be doing some psychology on defense mechanisms but i don’t want them practiced on me.’

‘ I really don’t get what you are mad about’

Oh dear Lord, what did he just say?

‘ What? Look, i can only stand arrogance for some time.  If you  are tired of being in this relationship, just say you want a freaking break up!! Just don’t waste my time’