I lie on my bed feeling low. My emotions are messing with me and making fun of my control not to feel anything. I give myself a sad smile as I think that depression might kick in.

The week has been long. Alternating between home and library which is freezing by the way. No outs. No calls. Just a few texts and a call once in a while from my aunt asking if I was hungry. Speaking of calls, i cast a sad glance at my phone. It’s still quiet and black. I let it go.

I place my pillow against the wall and lean against it holding ‘ rumor has it ‘ by Jill Mansel. It’s a good book. A few chapters and my legs feel warm in the blankets. A few more minutes and I feel myself drifting off. I can’t fight sleep. Not today. I pull the blankets over my head and the Jill Mansel finds itself on the floor.

I don’t know for how long I have been out. I am woken up by a song.  Wait.. I know the lyrics

‘ here I am still now… broken and in need of you..

Damn.. I am fully awake now. I grope under the pillow to find my phone. I quickly pick the call.

Hello

Hey sweetheart..

Wtf!!!  I sit up.

Why are you calling me?? I ask

‘I want to take you out.’. comes the answer

Cut the crap sugar. Are you alright?? Is your mum okay? Are you in jail??’

‘No. I wanted to talk to someone. I didn’t know who.’

‘We never used to talk. Why do you think we can talk now?? Are you dying??’

‘Come on Winnie. Go out with me. I don’t have anyone else.’

I smile at the trace of desperation in his voice.

‘Not today babe. I got a life finally. Have fun if you go out.’

I hang up. I slide the phone under the pillow. I pull the blankets over my head and go back to my sleep. I wish it was my mum who had called.

always winnie

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