I will start by introducing myself. Then I will arm you on how to deal with me or how you will cope with me because trust me am not easy to live with. The only reason am even bothered is because am bothered by the idea of living with the same person until death do us part. I seriously need to you to know how to treat me and cope with me.
My mum named me Winfred and I didn’t like it later in life so I changed it to Winnie but I also think I might change it back.
To know me you have to know a bit of my tribe and the clans. I am a Kikuyu and we have clans. There are the natural witches, charmers, fighters, those who love visiting, those born and raised by a single mother, those who don’t like jokes, those who don’t take crap and those that were believed to be natural thieves..
Luckily for you, I am not from the witches, neither am I from the thieves. Unluckily, I am half of those who don’t take jokes and those who don’t take crap.
To make it worse, I started making choices for myself when I was ten years and I also made plans for my brothers. I learned to cook when I was eight and learned how to farm when I was ten. I started delegating duties in our house when mum wasn’t feeling well or when she had to go out when I was thirteen and she became comfortable leaving me in charge when I was fourteen. I made choices to the school I went to apart from when my mum took matters into her hands and transferred me to a private school. I cried for days.
I learned not to be emotional when I got to high school and worked through school informing my mum on only one visiting for maybe once in a year because I knew telling her more than that would just stress her out because she couldn’t afford it. I learned to carry only one book for the holidays because I had to work, get paid and back up my mum. When she fell sick, we were safe. This you should know so that you may know that you shall at no point talk negative about my mum. No, it’s not allowed. If you do it, make sure I don’t hear of it. Secondly, at no point shall you think I am helpless. I learned how to survive long ago. I also don’t want you to be stressed out if we ever go down financially. I will be with you through it. I also don’t want you to think that I am impressed by cars or money. Yes, I am a woman, and I have eyes for fine things in life but I also know what money makes people be or do. It freezes their heart not to ever thaw. They are busy getting more and more that they forget to live. Men idolize their cars which isn’t a problem with me, until the day you refuse to walk with me. Or take a bus with me. Or take a motorbike with me. That time I will hate your car.
I also want you to know I love attention. All of it. I don’t compete for attention with your car or whatever else. You will have your time with that just know when it’s my day, it’s mine. I also love random texts or chats but more, I love long calls. People who laugh that hearty laughter attract me. I just don’t how but I can’t resist it. It warms my heart.
I also love God, I know I am not the best but I would love it if we went to church. To just sit there and listen.
Too much on the love side.. I consider myself strong. Which isn’t always the case. Sometimes am beat and all I want is to lie down and rest. I hate it if you start saying how hungry you are then.
I hate it when someone imposes their diet or culture on mine. Please stick to your diet. I don’t want it. I might willingly join but don’t think of even suggesting it.
I started making decisions for myself young, sometimes I will need you to remind me that you are part of my life. Most times I will want to lecture you and scream at you; the best you can do is to remind me we can reason that out. If you walk away, don’t come back. You will get three hours lecture. And I won’t sugarcoat anything. You will get it as you deserved it.
If you expect me to do something, please say it out. My guessing instincts died before I was born. So it is if you don’t like something. I might sulk but trust me I will make an effort. when something is bothering me, am most likely to drop something from my hands in that day, maybe a cup or plate on anything. I might try hard to hide it but then that you should know.
I hate proud men. You know like the wrong kind of proud?? I can’t stand that. Please dear husband, apologize if you do something wrong.. I have been told am the best at letting go. But don’t be fooled that I will be insulted. Remember my clan??
Food is sacred to me. I love eating. Don’t say am supposed to behave like a girl. Don’t interfere with my food. I love it as I make it. If you want, you can cook for me. I love being spoilt.
My novels are mine. Like a kid’s toy are hers. Don’t lend them out or pluck a page. No, please don’t.
If you ever do something wrong, I note it and keep quiet, I am learning withdrawing my emotions. It takes time but eventually they will fade. If I do wrong, trust me I will apologize, and try to get you back. But if you feel I can’t be forgiven, fine; you are free to go.
I want you to know I want a marriage that will last so apologize on the day I stop reading my novels next to you. Be worried if I walk out of an argument. Be really worried if I stop sending you random texts or if I stop reaching out to you. Be worried if you ask what’s on my mind and the answer is ‘ a lot’.
On loving you, the day I say I love you, be worried. We love hard in my family. I remember when my maths teacher who was my friend left to join campus. I loved her and I didn’t want her to leave. When she left, I cried for a week. In bed and my mum had to force me to get to school and eat. I lost my interest in maths.
I will trust you and not touch your phone. If i find that you don’t deserve it, I will withdraw it and it won’t come back.
I am tired of typing. I hope I will hear from you wherever you are one day or even today. Maybe I have you in my life. Maybe I don’t.
But keep this in mind, my mum will get a good bride price. I might back you up depending on how well the economy is treating you, or how bad, but she will get a bride price. Don’t worry about your mum, she will get a good daughter in law.
If you give me a reason to walk away, I will do so with my head high and forget about you.
Yours future wife