I have always made mistakes and sometimes questioned God as supreme deity on His way of answering prayers or listening. At such times, I am losing it and whatever I am going through pushes me between a rock and a hard place. At times, I have asked for one thing from God and gotten the exact opposite. I simply don’t understand.
I however do not question his existence because I know and I feel it that he is in existence just that I am not familiar with His ways. My growing up, I have known only one father, that is God.
I recall when my bio dad crossed over the pastor made this prayer that stuck into my mind and still is my mind
‘ God, these are young kids and this is a young woman, we as human beings will cry with them today and then go home to our families. We will forget them but you cannot forget them. You know their pain and needs. Your word says you are father to the fatherless, I humbly request you to stand in the gap. Don’t let them go hungry for they are your children. Watch over them and walk with them ‘
I believed in that prayer and I still do because soon after that, my mum got into a depression and stayed in it for about five years. Then when everything went wrong, all I could do was remind God of that prayer.
I completed primary school (elementary) and got to secondary school. My dad’s brother stood for my dad and took up the responsibility of paying for all the expenses and I felt like I had a father until one close relative kept reminding me that he wasn’t my father. Then, I knew I just had one father who I wouldn’t fight for with anybody; God.
When I needed something, I learned to ask with my head bowed. I gave thanks though not always and did get much from God. His love for me is limitless. Even when I am away, he draws me closer.
I do believe and I have the advantage of having a father who other fathers get whatever they want from.
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