I have been postponing this for the fear that you will not recognize me from up there because the little girl you left with uneven teeth and great heart isn’t me anymore. I do know you might recognize the face but the body changed. All I want to tell you today is that I am almost okay. That life was hard when you left and that it was hard to come home everyday from school and know you won’t be there. It was hard not to have anybody on whose back to step on or someone who brought home chocolates.

Our dog fudgie ran towards the road every time a car or bus hooted and then when you didn’t appear, he just lay there whining and he made us all sadder than we were already. We all of your kids wished we had the courage he had of showing our pain, just that we didn’t. Two months after you left, mum brought fourth a daughter who looks like you. Right now she already turned fourteen and she is the most annoying thing that keeps us on our toes daily. She asks questions about you.

Life dear dad isn’t the same.. I can’t question anybody like I used to and I can’t rush my good results to anybody as I used to. Mum is there I know but she has been trying hard and I have learned to live with what I have. I know maybe you will smile because I pursued school like you always dreamed of but you know pretty much from up there that I didn’t pursue literature. I don’t know if I am happy but don’t get yourself worried, I will be fine. Sometimes I feel that I was forced to be mature than I wanted and to be stronger than I should be and it’s getting me worried. Maybe one day we will sit down and talk about it in heaven if we shall remember and then I can be your little girl.

Too much about myself.. Your oldest sons are doing good and I think sometimes they are crazy.  They have wives.. lodger that. I at times wish you could be there and hammer sense into their big heads physically but mum is doing pretty okay with her lectures.

Your bright two are in campus and they are taller than you are and you should look out and compare the heights.. They are doing good and when they were admitted to school, mum cried and said she wished you were there to see how hard they worked and maybe you could have kept your word.. I have no idea what word was that but we all smiled and said you were watching.
Now, I know how you loved your younger daughter. She is great and growing into a beautiful woman. She is lazy and enjoys the attention she gets for inheriting your dimples.. how could you let her have that and me I have none?? To make it worse, she has your hair while me… well I don’t want to get into a fight before I get to the last born that you left before mum delivered. You know how he used to look adorable and you had all his photos around, well, I hate to disappoint you but that is all gone. He has grown so tall and ugly that am sure you won’t take any other photos. His voice is breaking and he has the most gentle of souls just that you can’t take photos of the soul.. oh, I almost forgot, his smile is worth looking at.

I know it’s sad for you that you missed seeing us grow but it is also sad for us. We wanted you here but what can we do? And so you may know dad, I am clueless on how to treat a guy or what to think of them. I am grown up but not in that sector.. I would ask your brother but aaaaah, I think he would say am crazy. It would just have been amazing if you were here. And I would so totally tell you on how it is to have men trouble and have nobody to ask.

Oh, and your sons all want to join the security forces because that is where you worked. I hope they don’t because it’s getting pretty messed up in the country and they are sending young people to fight in Somalia. The level of corruption is higher than before and what is circulating is blood money. Can you help me convince them??

Your animals are well fed but we feasted on most sheep. The cows aren’t as healthy but they are still there. We haven’t moved to where you wanted us to move but we are working on that soon as I get job.

The witches are still around and multiplying. Your bar business was closed down and one of your friends didn’t pay the money.

Finally dad, my experience of calling your brothers dad isn’t a very good one. I know they try really hard but, man… something is amiss.

So long sir..I do love you

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