Today is my relaxing day after sitting two exams yesterday and ending up dead beat. It’s also my resting day because no offers on lunch or supper so am just going to spend the day in bed, take no shower and not brush my teeth.

This won’t happen though because as soon as the sun peeks, my very stupid friend calls me up and wants someone to vent to and bless my heart, I am the unlucky soul who have to listen. So she comes up despite my attempt to convince her that am feeling terrible. I get off, brush my teeth and stick to the no shower plan.

Let me tell me about myself, people think I am a good listener but trust me, I am not. When need be, I let my mind drift and let someone vent hoping they don’t expect me to say anything. Today, I am not worried about getting my mind something to think about because I already have much bothering me already. I have a certain guy in my mind, I have an exam that I did yesterday and hoping I don’t flog plus I also have that stupid project that I have to submit before I graduate. None of those are good thoughts including the guy.

My friend is here and I have to listen to her go on about her relationship issues and in my mind am thinking she is lucky she has something to whine about when I only meet.. well, shall we say morons? Not all though.

I am listening to her today because she apparently needs me to hear her out and I tell her I don’t think she really loves the guy because she isn’t crying. She gives me that look that have me jumping out of my skin and says unlike me, she has emotions.

Wait.. when did we start talking about me here?? I do have emotions only that I might not remember when I cried in public. I don’t find it necessary to evoke pity from people because that’s all crying publicly does.. evoke pity and sympathy when in most situations that I cry in, I don’t need pity. All I need is a kick on the butt or a shove to get me back to reality, unless it’s a death scenario.

That’s where my pillows come in. They will never pity me. They just lie on my bed emotionless and say nothing. That’s the ideal crying companion because they will never tell or sympathize with me when in reality, the truth is, the relationship you crying over isn’t worth it. My pillows do absorb my tears and when I feel better, I wash my face reach out for my little piece of mirror and remind myself I am the best and whoever doesn’t realize that is dumb.

When I cry on my pillows, people label me emotionless when am around them, while am just glad I have a pillow.

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