Dear girls

so much has happened that if I was to write on this, I would write a novel. I hope that the good Lord is gracious to me and let me see next Valentine’s. May you will all read novel. If you missed it, go ahead and read.
With Valentine’s day approaching, I can’t help thinking of the so many girls who will be waiting for a present and will get none. You may think that I am writing this because I expect a present but you are absolutely wrong because as I have been told several times my compatibility with normal guys is as low as it can get so am passing all Valentine’s until I meet my match ; a weirdo like me.
You may be chatting with a guy or texting or ( heavens forbid) sleeping with him whereas that guy has no real interest in you. I have made the mistake of thinking that a guy has interest in me so many times that I lost count of how many times I end up being disappointed. These guys have even said on my face that they love me but well, their actions are way louder. At times I find myself blaming my looks, don’t get me wrong though ; I know I look great, nice body, beautiful face , I am funny and creative but I tend to think that guys mistake me for a very stupid person or otherwise enlighten me, why on earth would a guy say they love me and only call me when they feel like or simply keep disappearing and then coming back with no apologies?
Girls you know the list and I would go on until I forget why I started writing this,  for starters.
These are several and most obvious signs that you are just his booty call
He only calls and texts randomly and doesn’t keep the conversation going no matter how enthusiastic you try to sound. Having been raised in a family of five brothers, trust me on this. He texts thus because he is bored and has nothing to entertain him. You are like a t.v. to him.
He wants sex and you say no, he gets mad and walks away or tries to make you feel guilty about it. A guy who is really into you considers you worth waiting for or even respects your decision
He doesn’t want to spend time with you when you want him to. Well, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out.
He keeps mentioning that the two of you are friends. Take that as a hint because any guy who is into you will say you are his girl.
He never answers questions directly like when you ask how his day was, he simply says he was lazing around with friends. Watch out for this kind
He doesn’t ask how you are faring or how your family is. The best he can come up with is what are you wearing? When can I see you?  He has no interest in your projects or how your day was and anything else that a girl wants to share with her guy
He will never introduce you to his friends and you know generally nothing about him.
The indicators are so obvious it’s just that you are too engrossed trying to catch his attention to note that he isn’t that into you.
A guy who doesn’t get out of his comfort zone to make you happy doesn’t deserve you because we are girls and we deserve the best.
I might not be an expert in relationships but I do know that any guy who dumps you just before Valentine’s is a scum bag and has never deserved you. If that happens, waste no tears crying of unworthy chaps who are way below your league.
If the guy you date is in any of the categories, please lower your expectations and spare yourself the disappointment.

Ps you can add on the list and save a girl a heartbreak.

28 Replies to “Dear girls”

  1. Or just go live your life and be someone you love. Treat yourself how you want to be treated. Do what’s right for you and don’t waste away waiting and worrying. Take it from the girl they always come back to and never get over. It’s not about rules or expectations or some playbook. Enjoy what is here and now for what it is, do the next right thing for the next right reason, and love yourself as much as you love anyone else.

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      1. Yeah, that borders dangerously close to narcissism. Seems to me that loving oneself most makes people abusive and cruel over time. I am no more and no less than anyone else.

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      2. Really?? I think what makes people cruel and abusive to others is not loving themselves enough. They have issues with their esteem and they are projecting it. People who love themselves don’t hurt others because it would make them feel like they stooped way too low

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      3. It is not that you don’t love yourself but that you don’t love yourself MORE than others. “Do unto others AS you would have them do unto you” absolutely requires self-love but it also requires true equality and leaves no room for placing anyone more or less than anyone else. To think that one’s own desires rate higher than other people’s needs is narcissistic and cruelty waiting to happen.

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      4. You cannot have equality in any “more than” situation. Maybe you don’t want equality in your relationships. Me, I have always insisted on it. Anything else is a double standard and will lead to no good.

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  2. Why wait for a present when you can give yourself a present or give the present to the person you are interested in? I think it’s time for this gender stereotype to be broken. If a woman is interested in a man, why not be the one to give out flowers?

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  3. I think if you expect flowers then you should also be ready to give out flowers. And to answer your question, I am not giving anyone flowers because 1) I am not currently seeing anyone, and 2) I like buying myself flowers to decorate my dining table and not as an expression of my love or romantic interest. In fact, I think flowers are not the right symbol for showing ones love. To me, flowers indicate the not so gradual and eventual withering of the relationship. So if I ever give someone flowers then it would be to act as red flag that I am not in that relationship for the long haul.

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    1. My oh my.. darling you got issues. 🙂 flowers are beautiful. And just like us when we are young we are beautiful and we eventually wilt then wither and die. You gotta agree with me that flowers are beautiful..

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  4. I agree, flowers are beautiful. So very beautiful that I said I buy them to decorate the dining table. Let’s not even talk about the scent coz they smell amazing. But as a symbol of love? Flowers are a big no for me. And you are right, we are born and we live then die. And that’s why I suggest that men should be given flowers as well. To symbolise how temporal beauty is, not just a woman’s beauty but a man’s as well.

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